Editing List of Wario: Master of Disguise quotes

{{italic title|List of ''Wario: Master of Disguise'' quotes}}
{{construction|user=The Mansion}}
This is a list of quotes from ''[[Wario: Master of Disguise]]''.
==[[Carpaccio]]==
*''"Hey, looky what the cat dragged in! Carpaccio didn't expect company here!"''
*''"So, you're Cannoli, huh?"''
*''"What...seriously? Purple Wind? That's your name? Crazytown!"''
*''"I assumed that a...professional...had been following me."'' 
*''"Well, sorry about the museum then. I left all those booby traps for Cannoli."''
*''"Huh? Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, that was me."''
*''"I thought that museum smelled stanky! It was you! Wow, buddy. Shower much?"''
*''"Hang on a sec. Did I just hear you complaining that I stole YOUR treasure?"''
*''"You know what separates the Whiners from the winners? Results. And I get 'em."''
*''"Listen, friend, I just got there first."''
*''"Nothing personal. Just business, right?"'' 
*''"Don't you agree?"''
*''"Look, buddy! When you got a mind like a steel trap like mine..."''
*''"Plus the coldest heart in the biz...and fan-freakin'-tastic hair like this..."''
*''"Then maybe we'll talk more. Until then, you're wastin' my time."''
*''"Look me up someday when you're tired of being a loser, Purple Wind."''
*''"Got business  to attend to up the road. See ya."''
*''"Hey, slick. You made it. The name, again, is Carpaccio..."''
*''"Car, as in "car, " and I got a great one. Pac, as in "posh, " which my mansion is."''
*''"Cio, which rhymes with "BO, " which is what you got. Seriously, take a shower!"''
*''"Now there's something I didn't see earlier...that wand!"''
*''"So it IS you, Cannoli! This whole idiotic Purple Wind routine was just a ruse!"''
*''"Well done! I applaud you, Cannoli! Let me unmask myself then."''
*''"I head up the global corporation called Sigil Securities. Heard our slogan?"''
*''"We're hard at work watching your back...That way it's easier to pick your pocket!"'' 
*''"Get' em, guys!"''
*''"Respect? He laughed in the face of Sigil Securities! So you're BOTH going down!"''
*''"You must face the cold, hard facts. One: I'm a winner. Two: you're a whiner."''
*''"Tuning me out , are you? Then we must have a meeting of the minds..."''
*''"You'll see things MY way! I eat guys like you for breakfast!"''
*''"Yum!"''
*''"H-how can it be? I lost to this lowlife? And I now see...he's not even Cannoli..."''
*''"My bad. I seem to have underestimated you."''
*''"I won't make that mistake twice."''
*''"Next time, I will totally consume you!"''

==[[Count Cannoli]]==
*''"I blow through like the gentlest breeze, then steal in with the greatest of ease!"''
*''"Think I'm a threat? I'd have to concur! Lock your doors! I'm the Silver Zephyr!"''
*''"Now...to business! What a luxurious ship! I shall steal its most dazzling treasures!"''
*''"Oh, my aching... Who...who are [[Wario|you]]?"''
*''"Oh! And that's MY [[Goodstyle|wand]]! Give it back! Relinquish it NOW!"''
*''"Star? No! You're nobody! Hey! Don't wave that!"''
*''"P-Purple Wind?! You're a thief, too?"''
*''"HA! I'm superior to you! Even without that wand!"''
*''"Wait, no! Oh, my wand! Come back! I really didn't mean it!"''
*''"H-Hey! What a foul man! Bring back my wand!"''
*''"Oh, I'll strike when you least expect it...[[Thief Wario|thief]]!"''
*''"Last warning! Give that wand back!"''
*''"The wand you hold in your filthy hand..."''
*''"It's served my family for generations!"''
*''"I'd be shamed beyond belief if I lost it! So give it back to me! Immediately!"''
*''"Without it, I can't turn into the Silver Zephyr, a thief feared by all!"''
*''"And I'll be stuck as myself...the utterly boring Count Cannoli...forever and ever!"''
*''"You musn't steal my wand! Or steal my FAME!"''
*''"I've got you now!"''
*''"Hoodlum! Return my wand!"''
*''"You're a slippery one..."''
*''"But I'll get you soon!"''
*''"Hmmm. Maybe you do have the heart of a thief."''
*''"But, Wario, you're no Silver Zephyr!"''
*''"Are you kidding? It reeks of inelegance!"''
*''"And YOU'RE the dumb one! Just try to survive!"''
*''"I've booby-trapped this whole ship already!"''
*''"Give me back my wand and I'll let you escape."''
*''"Well then, I shall dog your heels, you amateur."''
*''"Well, Wario... You've survived a few traps."''
*''"That's the last straw! No one insults Cannoli!"''
*''"It's time to take back my wand. And my honor!"''
*''"No, it can't be..."''
*''"W-w-wait! You just want treasure, right?!"''
*''"I can help you steal every bit of it from this ship!"''
*''"You have my word! Just give me my wand back!"''
*''"My family honor depends on keeping that wand!"''
*''"It goes WAY back in my family...to my great-, great-, great..."''
*''"So I hear. But I can tell that you're...not interested."''
*''"You're kidding?! I mean...thank you."''
*''"What a fool. That wand is priceless."''
*''"I'll just string him along for now."''
*''"Purple Wind, you'll soon breathe your last..."''

==[[Goodstyle]]==
*''"Ah, not so hard, [[Wario|sir]]! Old Goodstyle begs you!"''
*''"Oh, my! A NEW master! At your service, sir!"''
*''"AH, yes, my new master! And I am known as...Goodstyle!"''
*''"With merely a wave and a flourish, I've remade all of my masters!"''
*''"Oh, I've changed paupers into princes! And I've turned zeroes into heroes!"''
*''"I've even helped many former masters, such as [[Count Cannoli|HIM]], turn into a master thief!"''
*''"So whoever you really want to be... Goodstyle is at your service!"''
*''"Ah, but I've jabbered so. Let me simply show you!"''
*''"Good day, sir! Care to learn the secrets of thievery? Check out how to suit up. Oh! Check! So funny!"''
*''"When disguised as [[Thief Wario]], you can leap to tremendous heights, much like a cat burglar!"''
*''"You should leap at every opportunity that comes your way! Your acrobatics are as quick as my puns!"''
*''"You also possess a power that's rare among thieves: assault and battery! Fits you well, sir!"''
*''"Bash anything that gets in your way! Put the "break" into breaking and entering!"''
*''"If you ever need me to explain this all again, simply pause the action! I'll be delighted to assist!"''
*''"But do you know how to open [[treasure chest|it]]?"''
*''"What a novel way for a thief to open chests!"''
*''"But it won't work, sir. They're too tough."''
*''"Go get a closer look. I'll help pry it open."''
*''"Indeed! I'll always tell you when we can begin."''
*''"I'll use a picture to keep it short and sweet!"''
*''"See? We're ready! Touch it to start!"''
*''"Give it a try, sir! But first..."''
*''"Hear me out, just a moment longer!"''
*''"No, sir. I want every gem you find!"''
*''"They're... They're...so delectable!"''
*''"But more importantly, they're all [[Guise Gem]]s!"''
*''"Yes! The more I eat, the more disguises I make!"''
*''"I can tell you're not going to like this..."''
*''"Sir! If I may explain! If I eat those gems..."''
*''"I can disguise you in ways that will help!"''
*''"You can go more places with more disguises!"''
*''"While your Thief Wario disguise will help..."''
*''"More disguises will give you many more powers!"''
*''"Think of it as an investment, sir!"''
*''"I'll note your disguises on the upper screen."''
*''"Eventually, you'll have quite a few of them!"''
*''"Each gives you powers to start with..."''
*''"Then superpowers after I get the right [[Mastery Gem]]."''
*''"The Thief Wario outfit never upgrades, however!"''
*''"Whew! Now go pry open that chest..."''
*''"I think there's a tasty Guise Gem inside!"''
*''"[[Cosmic Wario]], low gravity awaits you! To suit up for service, draw a helmet on your head!"''
*''"Cosmic Wario has the power of laser fire! Isn't technology magnificent? Try it! What straight shots!"''
*''"Ah, and may I shoot from the hips with more ideas? Fire the laser at ropes and switches, too!"''
*''"Spot on, sir! Attack the bag to get its [[coin]]s!"''
*''"Use different attacks to see which work best!"''
*''"Ah, let me fill you in on a little detail about Count Cannoli, sir!"''
*''"The Cannoli family also has access to a stockpile of high-tech trickery!"''
*''"Good thing all of the machines have serious weaknesses!"''
*''"Use your disguises and attacks to take advantage of the flaws!"''
*''"I'll give you hints in the lower-left corner. Now good luck! I'm rooting for you, sir!"''
*''"It appears the she-demon has fled to the underworld."''
*''"[[Terrormisu]] met her match, thanks to you! She has fled our world at long last!"''
*''"So perhaps...after all these years...my job is finally done."''
==Narrator==
*''"We join [[Wario]] as he's searching his...er, mind...for ways to get rich."''
*''"Our unlikely hero is about to be struck by inspiration from TV..."''
*''"Ah, poor guy. And isn't that just the problem! Wario still isn't rich."''
*''"A popular TV show about a [[Count Cannoli|master thief]] comes on the air..."''
*''"In this show, a somewhat ordinary fellow walks up to a luxury liner..."''
*''"Though Wario was trash-talking the TV thief, he really was insanely jealous."''
*''"Wario keeps watching, drooling at the thought of being a master thief."''
*''"And then it happened! The thief transformed! Wario drooled even more!"''
*''"Yes, Wario had come up with one of his...er, brilliant ideas."''
*''"Wario enters his secret HQ...er, back room, to make something."''
*''"What a racket! What in the world is this idea Wario's come up with?"''
==[[Wario]]==
*''"Bah! No treasure leads on the news!"''
*''"Hmmm? What's this?"''
*''"Who's this [[Count Cannoli|thief]]? This show looks good! Good way to kill an hour, at least!"''
*''"This chump is a thief?"''
*''"How's he gonna steal anything if he's dressed like such a bonehead?"''
*''"Bah! I want in on the action! This guy ain't worthy!"''
*''"Blech! What is this?! Amateur hour? If only... Yeah!! I got an idea!"''
*''"I'm a genius! I'm so good I scare myself!"''
*''"Yeah! It's done!!"''
*''"Ta-dah!"''
*''"If that moron can be on TV, so can I! I was born to be on the boob tube!"''
*''"Behold the [[Telmet]]!"''
*''"Television! Teleportin'! And, uh, it's a helmet."''
*''"Let's fire this baby up!"''
*''"It's meeee! On TeeeVeeee!"''
*''"Whadda entrance! And for my big break in TV, too!"''
*''"It worked! I'm a genius! I'm on that dork's show!"''
*''"Hey, and ain't THAT extra-lucky! That Silver Heifer guy dropped his [[Goodstyle|wand]]!"''
*''"Don't know what this wand is good for, but at least I can scratch my back with it!"''
*''"Or wait...it's good for somethin', right, shmancy-pants?"''
*''"Who am I? ME?! I'm the star of this here show now...Wario!"''
*''"Do I gotta beat it into your head? I'm Wario!"''
*''"Wow! A talking wand! And it calls ME sir?!"''
*''"Check out these duds! Now all's I need is a fancy name like the Silver Zipper..."''
*''"Umm... Lemme see, I could be... No, that's not it. Maybe... Ha! Got it!!"''
*''"The [[Thief Wario|Purple Wind]]! Yes! Silent but deadly!"''
*''"Good! Cuz you're not getting Goodstyle back!"''
*''"Ah, bug off already! OK, Goodstyle..."''
*''"Now that I'm all geared up, let's bust this ship open!"''
*''"My first [[treasure chest|chest]]!"''
*''"This Purple Wind stuff is already paying off!"''
*''"Wha-! Oh, Goodstyle... It's you."''
*''"These puny chests? I'll smash 'em open!"''
*''"Then what do I gotta do?"''
*''"Close enough for ya?"''
*''"Spit it out! You want my autograph?"''
*''"[[Guise Gem]]s?"''
*''"Who cares?!! This thief getup is good enough!"''
*''"I'm keepin' all gems for myself. For ME!"''
*''"Help Wario find MORE treasure?"''
*''"I don't like the idea of losing treasure. But..."''
*''"Count Cannoli? What a dumb name! Look who's a nobody now!"''
*''"You're not getting this wand back!"''
*''"Not gonna happen, chump!"''
*''"What have we here?! A sack of cash!"''
*''"What a dumb thief name! Purple Wind is better!"''
*''"<big>LET ME?!</big>"''
*''"I'll LET YOU keep that fancy hat, how's that?!"''
*''"Traps? Those explosions? Thought I had gas? HA!"''
*''"You fancy-pants freak! Just try it, Cannoli!"''
*''"<big>SMELL IT!</big>"''
*''"Silent but deadly! Smell the Purple Wind!"''
*''"Bye, loser! I'm off to get rich!"''
*''"This wand...instead of ALL the treasure?"''
*''"Can it, Cannoli! Boo-hoo! Cry me a river! I don't care how great your family is!"''
*''"I just want treasure! And lots of it! Hmm...you think there's a ton of it here?"''
*''"Trying to read my mind, Cannoli? Don't bother! You'll find NOTHING!"''
*''"But you got a deal. You help me get treasure. I give you the wand."''
*''"Another piece of the Wishstone! About time that thing showed up!"''
*''"What the... Whaaaaa! My tablet!"''
*''"Hey, [[Ka-Bloom!|fertilizer-breath]], that's mine! Give it back!"''
*'''''"<big><big>STUPID FLOWER!!!</big></big>"'''''
*''"You talk too much! Outta my way, [[Carpaccio|Carp-head]]!"''
*''"What is that jerk doing?!"''
*''"Now, [[Terrormisu|you second-rate demon]]! Grant my wish!"''
*''"Come back here, [[Terrormisu|coward]]! Grant my wish!!"''

==[[Terrormisu]]==
*''"Please, [[Wario|m'lord]]! Stop! I'd be devastated if you burned your sweet bacon!"''
*''"Today's no day to be touring the caves, [[Wario|m'lord]]!You'll be burned to crispy bits!"''
*''"Sweatmore Peak is churning with lava! Thank the stars I warned you in time!"''
*''"Just a few steps farther and you'd have broken through the magma crust!"''
*''"My name is unimportant! What matters is that you're safe!"''
*''"No one can pass through the mountain's bowels to reach the other side now."''
*''"Why did those men install that infernal crater-tapping machine? Woe is us!"''
*''"I can't be certain, m'lord! With all that lava in there...?"''
*''"You're not thinking of braving the crater, are you? Heaven Forbid!"''
*''"Oh, catch me! I may faint! When you said that--wow!! You made me swoon!
*''"You really mustn't go! But...if you must , find the Sweatmore Hotpants."''
*''"Oh, what am I saying? You mustn't go! But...if you do, that gear will protect you."''
*''"I shall simply DIE if you go! But one last thing: the basic Hotpants have limits!"''
*''"Oh, Mr. Purple Wind!! Pardon me, m'lord!"''
*''"You survived Sweatmore Peak! I was so scared for your safety!"''
*''"You mustn't scare me like that again! I couldn't bear to lose you!"''
*''"If there are hazards ahead, you must promise me that you won't face them!"''
*''"Please, no, m'lord! You mustn't go to places like...oh, just as an example...
*''"...Blowhole Castle ahead! Even if it holds riches beyond reason!"''
*''"If you must, I shall go too! You see, it's a haunted castle, and I can help!"''
*''"The royal family that dwells there shares its quarters with ghostly guests!"''
*''"You'll see ghosts floating everywhere, often as harmless, insubstantial shades!"''
*''"Harmless...until you use a spirit switch, which makes ghostly entities very real!"''
*''"Oh, the horror! So don't touch those switches. Even YOU can't be that brave!"'' 
*''"Oh, m'lord! May I please help? Pretty please? With sugar on top?"''
*''"Oh, my! I can sense...such sadness! The spirits living in this castle are near!"''
*''"My purple and windy lord, it's the honest truth! Let me commune with them!"''
*''"Oh...yes...and... Oh, my... I see..."''
*''"These dearly departed creatures! They're missing one of their friends!"''
*''"It breaks my heart! M'lord, that's why they're all gathered here..."''
*''"They'll leave, and let us through, if we bring back the missing spirit."''
*''"Oh, I may weep! Please hold me if I cry! Their joy is overflowing! They're relieved"''
*''"M'lord! I believe that an...unusual power is holding it shut."''
*''"M'lord, fear not! Focus your efforts on overwhelming Stuffy the 64th!"''
*''"He's invulnerable on the water, so try to get him on solid ground!"''
*''"If you attack him out of the water, it may just fluster him to the point that..."''
*''"...his concentration may weaken, and he'll lose his hold on the door!"''
*''"When that happens, I'll pop open the door before he can shut it again!"''
*''"M'lord, you trounced him! Oh, what excitement! I knew you'd do it!"''
*''"No! It can't end! They're getting away!"''
*''"I'll catch up with you, Purple Wind! Then you'll get what's coming to you..."''
*''"Where are my manners?! I never told you my name!"''
*''"If you couldn't tell, I'm sugar and spice, and everything nice...plus sprinkles!"''
*''"I'm Tiaramisu! Nice to make your acquaintance at long last!"''
*''"You say the nicest things, sweetie!"''
*''"But, I'm afraid that we part ways here, my silent and deadly lord."''
*''"I can go no farther. Not with my current power."''
*''"Please be careful, dearest one. I feel HIS presence again. proceed...if you must!"''
*''"Fabulous! The moment has finally arrived after so very, very long!"''
*''"Oh, my foolish and fumbling lord! You've released me! I'm free as a bird!!"''
*''"Yes, m'lord! It IS me! Or is it?! I sort of fibbed about my name, you see."''
*''"It's not Tiaramisu. I'm not that sweet."''
*''"It's Terrormisu! Fear me, you fools!"''
*''"I simply must thank you for releasing me! Or should I say...unleashing me!"''
*''"What a perfect gentleman you've been, helping me ever since Sweatmore Peak!"''
*''"Fortunatelly, Sweatmore Peak is a nexus of dark power. It helped me...manifest.
*''"Though I was sealed in the Wishstone, I could still reach out to m'lord here!"''
*''"Call a lady a monster, will you? [[Carpaccio|You cad]]! HE'S the fiend! Right, my dear Wario?"''
*''"So impatient, [[Wario|m'lord]]! Savor this moment! The best is yet to come!"''
*''"Wheee! I'm giddier than a queen rolling in caviar! Let's have some REAL fun!"''
*''"M'lord, just for FUN, let's take a look at the writing that's on the Wishstone!"''
*''"I'm sure you've seen bits and pieces, but the story in full is quite different!"''
*''"if I may interrupt, m'lord?! Yes, it was NOT a Wishstone at all!
*''"It was certainly not MY wish to be sealed away for so many years!"''
*''"So many greedy men have tried to collect the tablets over the years."''
*''"Of course, this demon you see before you welcomed their efforts!"''
*''"But every time someone...somewhere...tried to collect the tablets...
*''"That Cannoli fellow and his irritating family always got in the way!"''
*''"And if it wasn't the Cannoli clan, it was that meddling Carpaccio family!"''
*''"Both families...for ages...have kept the tablets from coming together!!"''
*''"But this lovely demon you see before you has finally made her comeback."''
*''"And I owe it all to the Purple Wind! My dearest, darling Wario!
*''"I'm famished! I could devour a hundred souls! Hmm...how about an appetizer?"''
*''"Who should I start with...?"''
*''"That Cannoli clan really ticks me off! I'll crush you ALL like cockroaches!"''
*''"But revenge on an empty stomach? I'll snack on [[Wario|YOU]] like a candy bar first!"''     
*''"Boo-hoo-hoo! Waaaah! You're so mean! I hurt all over!"''
*''"You trip up a lady AND you want me to grant your wish?!"''
*''"Who's the mean one NOW?!"''
*''"Well, if it isn't m'lord! Tee hee!"''
*''"Both of you...here in one place! I'm the luckiest girl in the world!"''
*''"Don't be like that! Didn't we have good times?!"''
*''"Truth is, I'll be going back just as soon as I've finished my business here."''
*''"On my way back to my dimension, I dropped my best gown and my glasses."''
*''"They're somewhere in this garden. I'll give a gift to whoever finds it first!"''
*''"What, you ask?? The most beautiful gem from my dimension, is all!"''
*''"Even after all that's happened between us, I can still count on you...m'lord"''
*''"And I will be true to my word. Here's the most beautiful gem from my dimension!"''
*''"Truly, I am the most beautiful gem from my dimension! Or, so it's said."''
*''"Come be with me! Let us go together to my world!"''
*''"With your brains and my brawn, I'm sure that we'll seize and conquer it all!"''
*''"Wh-where are you off to?! Wait for me...my Purple Wind!"'' 

{{Quotes}}
{{WMOD}}
[[Category:Quotes|Wario: Master of Disguise]]
[[Category:Wario: Master of Disguise|*]]