The 'Shroom:Issue LXVIII/Critic Corner: Difference between revisions

{{User|Crocodile Dippy}}

{{ShroomStrongContent|harsh language, vulgar content, spoilers}}

{{nonmario

Among the many strategies you can employ entail sneaking across the rooftops or sewers (both good ways to get yourself covered in shit), possessing fishes, dogs, or other people to sneak by guards and security systems, mercilessly slaughtering everyone with a stupider mask than you, or summoning a swarm of hungry rats to eat everything in their path like a serial killer pied piper. I of course went for the stealthy no-kill run, me being the incredible pussy I am, and the game pleasantly avoids the ''System Shock'' or ''Deus Ex: Human Revolution'' mistake of forcing you into combat-only boss fights; ''Dishonored'' doesn't really have boss ''fights'' so much as boss ''targets'', as each level generally has one or two specific assassination targets that you can bring down in a variety of ways, whether that be through brute force, careful espionage, or even just revealing incriminating evidence on them.

While I'm mindlessly praising the game for encompassing all of my game fetishes, the Empire of the Isles has got to be one of the most detailed worlds I've ever seen in a recent triple-A video game. It was about the eighth book I nicked from some crazed survivors house that I realised a tremendous degree of effort and detail rarely seen outside of toy train factories was invested into making the Empire of Isles feel rich and teeming with life. There are clear definitions of the societal, political, and even economic structures of the empire; you can collect maps detailing all the other locations in the isles you'll never be able to visit; and several books follow the progression of the rat plague and the political unrest leading up to the current events. This is pretty much the standard for Bethesda games, sure, but here it's actually presented in a manner easily understood for people who don't have 100 hours of cheeto-fueled delight every week to invest into reading every last bit of literature in the game.

Just so I don't completely spoil that ''Dishonored'' will be in my top five games of the year list, and to maintain journalistic integrity so it doesn't seem like I'm ignoring the bad on the count of the game catering to everything I like in my video games, let's actually get to the negative criticism. The game is certainly way too easy, quick-save being readily available to you if you have to sneak past a steam-powered AT-ST or are a complete wimp, and all the guards seem to have been trained at FOXHOUND since they're always too quick to dismiss any suspicious activity as the result of wind or rats even whilst knowing a highly trained supernatural assassin is on the loose. The nature of the upgrade system somewhat shoots specialisation in the leg since it's not hard to find runes, and the rat swarm skill is overpowered as shit and just plain ''awesome'' so most people will probably just wind up abusing that, although that was a strategy far beneath my crafty, boring roof-climbing brilliance.

While the story may not be anything special at its meaty centre, it's paced and presented well enough to maintain interest which makes it a mighty shame that the characterisation dressings were made from grime and cow urine. Virtually every single character only ever spouts exposition to link one mission to the next without so much as a comment on the weather to liven the conversation up, all whilst glaring at Corvo through Bethesda's typical terrifying fixed eye contact, like they're all Barbie dolls being controlled by the universe's biggest asshole of a god. While I understand the city has become quite dreary since those good ol’ days, that shouldn't mean the people need to be dreary as well. If not for my own personal adoration for stealth and the knowledge that there was a good ending and a bad ending dependent on how much of a big murdering bastard Corvo was, I probably would've just killed all the guards just to stop their repetitive blithering because none of them have any personality or charm that would otherwise incentivise seeking out passive means to progress.