It's a Wonderful Life: Difference between revisions

'''DK:''' ''Yes, siree, little buddy. The sun is shining, the fish are biting. You got to admit, it"s a wonderful... Ohh! [tumbles over Funky's surfboard] Life.''<br/>

'''Funky:''' ''I"ve lost it, dudes. My surfing stance. It"s lost in the cosmos. Watch. [jumps onto his board but he trips over afterwards] See? Without my world-famous funky stance, my surfing is suffering.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Relax, Funky. I can show you how to get your surf style back. [jumps onto Funky's board but his weight causes him to break it in half] Oops!''<br/>

'''Funky:''' ''My board! Instant karma is going to get you, Donkey Dude.''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' '' '''Donkey Kong!'''''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Uh, love to stay and chat, Funky, but, uh, got to run. [goes to Cranky's hut in such a hurry]<br/>

'''DK:''' You bellowed, Cranky?''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' ''For starters, you can explain...[pointing at the Crystal Coconut wrapped with a padlock]..this!''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Ah, that. That"s my new invention: the Crystal Coconut total security system. When I"m off doing something vital as future ruler...''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Exactly. Well, anyway, [throws a fishing stick away that came out of nowhere] now when I"m gone, nobody can get at the Coconut.''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' '''''Including me, you knuckle-dragging knucklehead!'''''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''You mean it really worked? Wow. I"m impressed. Looks like I"m pretty valuable to have around, huh, Cranky?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''No problemo, Cranky-o. I"ll have them off in a ji... Um, you wouldn"t happen to have the combinations, would you?''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' ''Me? '''They're your locks, Donkey Kong.'''''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Don"t worry, Cranky. There"s more than one way to open a lock. [He slam his fists onto the padlock, bites it like a dog and tries to pull it with his might as a desperate attempt to unlock the Coconut.] Argh! Well, you learn something new every day. I guess there isn't more than one way to open a lock.''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' '''''Out of my way!''' [slicing the locks with a cane like a ninja, and the Crystal Coconut finally unlocks)''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''There you go. One Crystal Coconut, just like you ordered. No need to thank me, Cranky.''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' ''Thank you? ''You want me to '''thank you'''?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''I can see you're busy; I'll see my own way out. (runs to the Barrelworks)''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Oh, Bluster, I get goose bumps just hearing you say those words.''<br/>

'''DK [confused]:''' '' What words?''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''Oh, Candy, you know I need you now more than ever.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Hey! All right, Bluster, you know Candy is my girl. Woah! [slips on a lone barrel and falls into Bluster, causing him to fly onto the conveyor belt and be hit by the barrel approval hammer, knocking him into a large pile of barrels; the stack then falls over onto Bluster]''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Donkey Kong, what are you doing?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''You two were getting cozy behind my back. You were..."getting goose bumps"?''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Oh, Donkey Kong, I was getting goose bumps because Bluster was finally giving me a raise.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Uh, and what about you, Bluster? I heard you say you needed Candy more than ever.''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''To fill my biggest order ever, which you just knocked over and ruined, which means Candy, no raise.''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Great work, DK. Your butting in has just cost me my raise.''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''And let's not forget about my barrel order.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Uh, well... Say, why don"t I come back later? [runs to the jungle]

'''DK:''' ''Hey, Diddy! Toss it over here!''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''No way, DK. This is my lucky ball. [chuckles]''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Just one throw? I'll throw it right back. Cross my eyes and hope to spit.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Okay, if you promise to throw it right back. This is my favourite ball in the whole wide world.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Promise. Now, let "er rip.'' [Diddy throws the ball into DK's hand]<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Okay, DK, that was great. [laughs nervously] Now, can you just toss my ball back...gently?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Here it comes, little buddy, right down the pike. Whoa! (Tries to throw it back to Diddy, but slips and accidentally throws it across the island) Oop.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''"Sorry" isn't good enough, Donkey Kong. Why couldn"t you have disappeared forever instead of my ball?''<br/>

===Later that night===

'''DK [wakes up]:''' ''Uh, nothing, honest. I was just, uh... Hey, wait a minute. I live here! I"m allowed to goof off in my own house. Aren"t I?''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' Tonight is only the annual Future Ruler of Kongo Bongo Barbecue Banana Dinner, at which you were supposed to be the guest of honor.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Oh, I completely forgot. Diddy, can you tell everybody I was busy fighting evil or something like that?''<br/>

'''Cranky:''' ''You really made monkeys out of all of us, Donkey Kong.''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''I"m sending you the bill for my tuxedo rental, Donkey Kong.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''But...''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Save it, Donkey Kong. We"ll just carry on as if you were never here.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Yeah, and we probably won"t even notice the difference.''<br/>

===In DK's dream, in a world where he never existed===

'''DK:''' ''[runs to the Barrelworks to see what happens now that he's snapped out of being a ghost] Candy will help me turn things around. She used to be my girlfriend.''<br/>

'''Bluster [hugging Candy]:''' ''Oh, Candy!''<br/>

'''Candy and Bluster:''' ''(In unison) Who are you?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Come on, Candy, how can you forget the guy who gave you your first kiss?''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''What? Candy, how could you?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''You used to say those very words to me every time you baked me a banana cream pie.''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''[gasping] You never baked me a pie.''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Wait! I swear I don't know this monkey.''<br/>

'''Bluster:''' ''Mumsy was right about you all along. We're finished, Candy!''<br/>

[Helicopter blades whirring]<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Look what you've done. You've driven away the only ape I ever loved. Are you happy now?''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Pretty happy, yeah.''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Well, you won"t be for ''long'', buddy!''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Hey, Candy, where's Bluster? And more importantly, where's his helicopter?''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''Ask this big ape. He got Bluster so mad at me that he took off in his helicopter.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Jeepin" jungleberries! How can I be an evil ruler if I can"t attack the enemy in a helicopter? Oh, that"s so unfair. I ''hate'' that, and I ''hate'' you!''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''I"m telling you, Candy, I hate him more.''<br/>

'''DK [runs off]:''' ''I got to get out of here.''<br/>

'''Candy:''' ''You couldn't possibly.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Uh, we were friends in another life?''<br/>

'''Funky [hugging DK]:''' ''Finally, somebody who speaks my language. Welcome, bro. What"s shakin'?''<br/>

'''Funky:''' ''The Funkman is your karma companion.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''You're never going to believe this, but first I was me, good old Donkey Kong, and then suddenly I was, like, this floating invisible thing.''<br/>

'''Funky:''' ''I've been there, dude.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''I could... Well, I could put my fist through things, like this. [punctured a hole in Funky's plane]''<br/>

'''Funky [crying]:''' ''Whoa-ho-ho! My plane!''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Sorry. I forgot I'm not invisible anymore.''<br/>

'''Funky:''' ''But you're sure going to wish you were, Destructo Dude.''<br/>

[DK runs off to the jungle]

'''Diddy:''' ''Dumb old Bluster takes his dumb old helicopter, leaving me standing here with nothing to use to attack those worthless lizards so I can achieve '''''world domination'''''! (Donkey Kong runs into him)<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Hey, little buddy. Are you okay?''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''Little buddy? ''Little'' buddy? '''Do I look little to you?'''''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Sorry. Uh, nothing personal. It's just that I used to call you that when we were friends.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''That"s my ball. You can"t take my ball! Give me my ball.''<br/>

'''DK:''' ''Sure thing. It's just that we used to play catch with this. Come on. One more time for old times' sake.''<br/>

'''Diddy:''' ''We don't have any old times, and I'm not that thrilled with the new times. Now, give me my ball.''<br/>

[Donkey Kong tries to throw it back to Diddy, but slips and accidentally throws it across the island]

'''DK:''' ''Sorry about that.''<br/>

'''Diddy [screaming]:''' ''You lost my ball! [crying] When I finally capture the papier-mâché lily pad and rule the world, I'll get you for this! (Donkey Kong runs off)''<br/>