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- “Suck my knowledge!”
- —User:Dom
(That's an original quote by me! But you can use it if you must...)
- “What the fudge?!”
- —User:Dom
- “I like 'em long and hard. I'd say Warcraft 3 satisfied me the most in that sense.”
- —User:Dom
- “If a game is made for heaps of platforms, it is very likely to be PATHETIC! And don't get me started on movie games...”
- —User:Dom
 Dom »» McTalk My pathetic contributions - click here! 
Dom's Currently Overused Word/Phrase:
What the hedge?! You mother-fudger!
Usually out of frustration in Brawl.
NOTE: This section will change when I become addicted to a different word or phrase.
TALK TO ME!
Because I love answering questions about games, Australia, and totally random stuff. I'll try and make my answers vaguely funny, for your enjoyment.
So, go to my Talk page.
I live in Australia, and I am Australian!
Just thought I'd make that clear.
<whosonline></whosonline>
Stooben Rooben is just pure awesomeness, he made another picture all for ME! This time it's a Luigi Kangaroo...just as I requested. Basically, I'm working on his repayment, which involves some unmentionable substances and maps of hideouts. Yep.
OK, this picture was NOT done by me...it was created especially for me by Stooben Rooben, one of my favourite users. Now, don't rush off to his page and beg him for similarly awesome pictures, because I actually made a special deal with him...which involoved lots of sugar, weasel repellant, money and fast food coupons. It was a fair trade. By the way, the wombat is to reinforce the fact that I'm Australian. Thanx for da kewl stuff, Stooby.
My Profile!
- Name: Dom is my preferred name, that's as much detail you'll get.
- Age: I've been 15 since January this year.
- Height: Reasonably tall.
- Weight: Rather light.
- Hobbies: Video games (wow, HUGE surprise!), golf (I suck, though), not doing homework, reading random cool books, being nerdy, watching comedy stuff.
- Religion: Gaming...'nuff said.
- Favourite Colour (hey, 2 Australian spellings in 1...see that, Americans? That's how we spell!) .................Oh yeah, light green.
- Other Interests: Totally hot babes (quote by Francis, one of the funniest characters EVER!)
Designing my own awesome game, which has been in 'production' since 2000.
- Nerdiness: About 8.3/10.
- Social Life: Probably the lowest in my school.
- Physical/Mental Conditions: i have 'social anxiety,' which is true, but it basically just means I'm very shy.
- Facts About Me:
- I am a particularly weird nerd.
- I'm a boy. (GASP!)
- I live in South Australia.
- I like juice.
- My diet consists mainly of junk food.
- I own a DS and a Wii, previously I had a GBA and Gamecube.
- About 75-80% of my games are Mario ones.
- I've been to England (4 times), France, Italy, Germany, Sweden, and other insignificant places.
- I've broken a world record, but it's pretty unusual, and I can't be stuffed submitted it to GWR.
- I'm infamous for my weirdness at school.
- Umm.................................
PICTURES and other stuff that makes this page quite a large file for dial-up users.
File:WF 2.jpg
These are of my GWR word-find puzzle - you know, those grids where you look for words among random letters. It took me 6 months to make this, and it's ALL DONE BY HAND! The grid was ruled by me, the letters are all written, and it contains 658 words in total! They're all related to Warcraft 3, my favourite PC game of all time. The booklet of words to find is all categorised (yes, I typed the booklet - it's 13 pages long).
File:Shroom Arceus.jpg
Yep, I made this edited version of the Hall of Origin in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl. Instead of the God of Pokemon, Arceus, I replaced it with a SHROOM! Isn't that hilarious? And I wrote my text over the existing Arceus
noise. Yep.
My Reviews Of Some Games I've Played!
| Game |
Rating */100% |
Comment
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| Super Smash Bros. Brawl |
2 million % |
I've only had it since Thursday because of Australian release dates (they suck JUICE!)...but so far, it's ZOMGZOMGAWESOME!! MUST PLAY NOW! GOODBYE!!!
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| The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess |
96% |
"Man, that's the most awesome non-Mario game I've ever played (I've never played Ocarina of Time)...it's just so well-made, and huge, and cool, etc."
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| Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door |
95% |
"That's an awesome RPG! Seriously, it's much more innovative than any other RPG you'll ever play, and it has cool paper graphics, and heaps of funny text and quotes, and and and and and and and it is so fun, and has heaps of detail and depth!"
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| Super Mario Galaxy |
93% |
"That's the coolest 3D platformer I've played...and the best Wii game until I get Super Smash Bros Brawl (bloody Australian release dates...yarr!). It has fully sick graphics, heaps of cool galxies, innovative levels, and plenty of tough missions to keep the hardcore gamers like me busy."
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| Super Mario World |
93% |
"Where do I start? It introduced cool stuff like Mario's Cape, had cool worlds, but most importantly, the amount of secrets...heaps of alternate paths, completely optional hidden levels, the awesome Special World...it's all there!"
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| The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass |
92% |
"Wow. Who knew that a DS game could be so...perfect? It blew me away with the dungeon design, the incredible use of the touch screen, the cool bosses, the music, and everything, and the story was well told."
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| Paper Mario |
91% |
"I downloaded the ROM of this N64 game recently, and I'm so glad I did! It's just as cool as the 2 sequels, with funny quotes, unique, fun, RPG gameplay, and a cool story."
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| Mario Kart Wii |
91% |
"Nintendo has got it just right for once. Everything not so good from previous versions is gone, and the stuff that works very well, like dragging certain items behind your kart, and NOT having Special Items, is all there. Most importantly, the new tracks are incredibly fun and make older tracks seem very boring. The Retro Cups are there to add to the play time availible, which is cool. I'm addicted!"
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| Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne (Expansion) |
90% |
"This is probably my longest-lasting game in terms of replayability. It's full of awesome evil characters, really cool emo quotes, quick RTS gameplay (not all slow-paced), and awesome graphics. I can create really cool levels on the World Editor."
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| Yoshi's Island |
89% |
"This is the most fun Yoshi game I've played. It's got heaps of fun levels, plenty of classic enemies, wicked bosses, impressive graphics (for the GBA, at least), and it's just so stylish. Also, the quest to get 100% on every level is one of the toughest challenges in Mario game history!"
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| Super Mario Bros. 3 |
88% |
"This game really takes the Mario series to a new level, as it introduced the map screen, allowing less linear gameplay, and also, many classic items were introduced, such as the Leaf and the um, other stuff. It is fun.
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| Super Paper Mario |
87% |
"While it wasn't quite as awesome as the previous 2 in the series, I still loved it. It's got lots of funny quotes and stuff, unique 2.5 dimensional graphics, and...most importantly...Count Bleck and Dimentio! They are THE coolest characters ever!!!
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My Favourite Nintendo Characters
Toad - How can you not like him? He's small and has a funny voice, he wears funny clothes, and he's awesome. I use him a lot in Mario Kart games, partially because he's a Light character, and a specialize in using Light Karts. Also, HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN BRAWL!!!
Dimentio - The coolest evil character, he's a psychotic jester. His magic is incredibly powerful, and he can teleport and turn invisible, and create THOUSANDS of clones of himself! He uses awesome quotes, and really has a personality.
Yoshi - He's usually green (the best Yoshi colour), he makes funny noises, his "voice" is cool, he lays eggs, he's just teh awesomeness. How caould anyone not like Yoshi. Also, he PWNs Birdo. Man, I hate Birdo.
Luigi - I find him cooler than Mario, mainly because green is much better than red. He deserves at least one more game to himself, not just Luigi's mansion. And he jumps higher than Mario.
Count Bleck - Unlike most villains, he has a true purpose behind his destruction of all worlds, not just a desire for power and control. He speaks in third-person, and he looks cool. What else can I say? His magic is cool too.
Link - That's a link to Link's page. Get it? HA HA!!! Yep. I mainly like him in Twilight Princess, where he looks cool, and he always has awesome sword-fighting skills and special moves.
Zero Suit Samus - 'Nuff said...on her page.
Mario - Just to shut him up after he discovered I like Luigi better. He needs to call Jenny Craig.
Koops - One of the coolest partners in PM:TTYD. He's shy like me, so I can er, relate to a pixelated video-game character </wtf>
Vivian - By far the best PM:TTYD partner in battle. He/she's all dark and shadowy, which is cool. Also, Vivian can drag Mario into a dark void!
Bowser Jr. - Cooler than Bowser, I use him a lot in Mario Kart games and in Mario Golf:TT. I tend to like smaller characters for unknown reasons. Did that sound creepy? I hope not. His "voice" has changed a lot in each game appearance - surely he's not at that age yet...
My Favourite Pokemon (AKA Pokemans)
In case you don't know, Nintendo make the Pokemon games. They're not characters, but creatures rather, so here are my favourites:
1. Lucario - Is so cool that he's playable in Brawl! Thank you Nintendo! He senses auras, and uses cool attacks like Aura Sphere and Extreme Speed, even Dragon Pulse. BTW, if you dunno how to get him in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl:
On Iron Island, you meet a trainer called Riley. After venturing through the whole cave area, he gives you an egg which will eventually hatch into a Riolu. Riolu will evolve into Lucario when its' happiness level is very high and it levels up in the daytime.
2. Palkia (Legendary) - Controls and distorts space. Much cooler than Dialga. So, buy Pearl version rather than Diamond. So what if Palkia has pink lines? That doesn't make it feminine. Also, Spacial Rend PWNs Roar of Time.
3. Arceus - The GOD OF POKEMON! Hasn't even been revealed by Nintendo, but I used my Action Replay DS to get it. It's in the Hall of Origin, at the end of a huge staircase and above the Spear Pillar. Arceus can become ANY Type! And at Level 100 it learns its' signature move Judgment! Mine is at Level 100, and it PWNs!
4. Darkrai - The evil Pokemon, that creates nightmares. Its' signature move Dark Void puts BOTH foes to Sleep in a double battle, and has 80% accuracy, the best of any Sleep-causing move. Darkrai is an Event-only Pokemon given out to celebrate the movie featuring Darkrai, I used my Action Replay DS to get it.
5. Dragonite - Dragons are awesome.
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This user could potentially be very smart, but wastes time on gaming.
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This user hates hot, summer weather, but loves cold, rainy winter weather.
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This user is a loyal fan of Nintendo hardware and software, and never buys any game or console not Nintedo-related..
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This user likes to figure video games out on his own, and is too proud to use walkthroughs.
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This user thinks that the Mario series is the best video game series EVER! WOOT!!!
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This user's favorite Pixl is Cudge.
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RANDOM FUNNY STUFF...
NOTE:I DECIDED TO GET RID OF THE LOLCAT PICS, because I don't have broadband on my home computer! It was taking about 5 minutes to load my page!
However, I highly reccomend you Google search "ROFLcats" and "LOLcats" or something...they have heaps of ultra-funny pics!
ANOTHER NOTE: I'm working on a genuinely funny edition to this section, so stay tuned for it!
Here's the long list of funny stiff:
- "Well, well. Duckstealer McStealsducks. Been stealing ducks, have you?"
"No."
"Curses!!! I was so sure..."
- Google 'Tobias and Jube' and read the awesome comic.
- I am in ur Wiki, editin' ur pages.
- "OMG! It's Doctor Patio, rogue theoretical physicist, author of the award winning flower-arrangement textbook I Thought Grout was a sort of Fungal Skin Disease, five-time winner of the Flantington Orifice award for outstanding library fines, inventor of the wheeled, non-flying, bus-shaped airplane, and RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!"
"Actually, I'm Doctor Shed, rogue chiropractor."
- I was in the car with my friend, David, and we were in the suburb called Woodville. He said, "that building is made of concrete!"
- I saw a really big dragon in a game and said "ZOMG! TOATTLY HUGE DRAGUMS!"
- In Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, everyone says "Hi, Mario...and, er...Mr Greenie."
- On my Nintendo DS, I used to draw rude pictures in Pictochat. Seriously, you shoul've seen the detail I put in!
- I once said "Crap off!"
- My gassy friend was next to me way back in Grade 4, and he did a massive fart during 'Show and Tell!'
- Also that day, a bird flew straight into the window of the classroom at high speed!
- In Grade 5, A pigeon flew through an open window of our classroom, crashed into a boy's head, then bounced off and flew out the other side!
- Also that year, I had a friend who had ultra Bee-Phobia, and 2 bees flew into the class, and he threw al his books and paper into the air suddenly and dived under the table, bumping his head!
- I did a play in Grade 4 where I was a caveman, and I touched the imaginary fire and went "OOOOOOH! HOT STUFF!"
- There was a picture in my gaming magazine of a girl not wearing much, and she had heaps of tattoos. The caption was 'Nice tats! No, that's not a typo...'
- Another funny caption was of a bikini model standing in front of 2 different coloured cars. The caption said 'What a nice pair! I especially like the blue one...'
- I am teh burninator! Woot!
- In Warcraft 3, Grunts say 'Me so horn-ed, me hurt you long time!'
- Imagine Mario without the facial hair...
- Donkey Kong is so stoopid. He flops around, goes "oogi-oogi!" and then dies.
- I put a piece of cardboard on the floor for some reason, then I rushed to see a good TV show before it finished, and slipped on the cardboard, and smashed into the TV!
- In Grade 4, I discovered the extreme pleasure of using a ruler to catapult erasers at stuff in the classroom. I made a bad shot and it knocked the teacher's glasses off. That hasn't stopped me doing it these days!
- Some person on this Wiki has a User page with a heaps funny pic of a kitten in a pool of marshmallows.
- My 'friend' is so sad, he came to my place to play Super Mario Galaxy, and when he discovered the crouch move with the Z button, he did it rapidly right next to that Rosalina girl. ZOMG...
- I was carrying a heavy box with my other friend (he's sad in a different way), and he farted just as we were going down the stairs, then he said "don't drop it, DON'T DROP IT!," and you guessed it, I did.
- I know something you don't...DO I? - Grunts from Warcraft 3
- That guy's nuts! GRAB 'EM! - Goblin Tinker, Warcraft 3
- "Pull his finger!"..."Dat's not ma finger..." - Goblin Alchemist, Warcraft 3
- Once I played Paper Mario and Mario died froma battle with a Goomba.
- Once I played Paper Mario: TTYD, and defeated the third boss (Macho Grubba) in one hit! If you want to know how, post a message on my currently deserted User Talk page.
- One of my other 'friends' in Year 8 (or whatever they call it in America), in a history lesson he unzipped his pants, and then went even further (I won't give the details), then the teacher asked him a history question. I pissed myself laughing!!! LOL! ROFL!
- In Grade 5, a girl asked me if I liked Eminem (obviously that rap artist), and I thought she meant the mascot of M&M's chocolates...I felt so dumb.
- In Grade 1, I used to put pegs (clothes pegs) on people's clothes while they weren't looking, at school. Some walked all the way home without noticing the peg on their clothes.
- I used to say "goodnight" to my Gamecube. That's sad...
- When I was little, I called Luigi "Loogie" (with a hard G), because I was dumb.
- I also used to call the game "Super Mario Bross," I didn't know it meant brothers.
- I cut off the wrist strap of my Wii Remote because I found it uncomfortable.
- In a Science lesson, a girl was talking about biology and organisms and stuff, and she said something like "what's the title of the page...oh, Studying Pond Orgasms (she meant organisms).
- Once I was playing Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour (my favourite Mario sport game), and when I was playing as Bowser, I actually copied the noise he makes out loud. It sounds half-constipated, half-concentrating.
- I used to think that you could get milk from ducks.
- My cat jumped off my bed, just clipped the edge of the circular mini-trampoline I used to have in my room, did a mid-air barrel roll 360, and then dashed out of the room, crashing into heaps of stuff!
- INCREDIBLY FUNNY: In a Science lesson, we had a relief teacher (is that what you call them in the USA?) who was pretty young and cool, and he was into games. We didn't do work that lesson, instead he organized a quiz where we had to put our hands up to answer his random questions. One question was "What exciting new game console is coming out in March next year?" (In Australia, the pathetic PS3 didn't come out until March 2007) A dumb, sporty girl put her hand up, and she said "Is it the Commonwealth Games?" LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Well, the boys all pissed themselves, especially me. The Commonwealth Games is kind of like the Olympics, except, you know, not as big and fancy.
- In Super Paper Mario, the second Dorguy in The Underwhere asks something like "Now, what color were the moving objects?" The answers were BLUE, YELLOW or SCHMORANGE...I said..............SCHMORANGE!!!! Well, I laughed...
- In Super Mario Galaxy, Luigi has to be saved by Mario because he's too scared to jump off the roof of a tiny house. So much for the jumping king...
- I was tired at a boring party, and there was ice-cream on my plate, and my head drooped down and I got it all over my face. :<
- Someone at my school who is black and his an awesome afro laughs like this: "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...........rofl."
- You reek of 'shrooms...it is a most disgusting odour, but it makes you useful...
- Bleckity doo...mmm, Bleck, that's the one who says...Woo?
Something like that is what O'Chunks says somewhere...woo?
- Y'know Toads? Imagine a Toad bashing up Mario or Bowser or something! And just picture their high-pitched, funny voices saying sweary words at him, and drinking beer...er, I'm getting carried away.
- In Grade 5, I went to the school canteen to buy a chocolate donut (I LOOOOOOOVE donuts!), but I had NO money. So I found a small rock on the ground, washed it under a drinking tap to make it clean, then put it on the counter and said, "that's enough for a donut!" And the canteen lady said "OK, here you go...and I actually got one! Plus I got my precious rock back! YAYS!
- Once I was just standing around in a public place, when my right leg suddenly strated going psycho! It was shaking as if an earthquake was occuring inside it! I almost fell over - how weird would that look if you were just a random bystander??!!
- Before I played my first Zelda game (which was the awesome Twilight Princess), I thought that the hero boy who wears green was called Zelda! Obviously, he is called Link.
- A guy goes "Oh, I'm not really Santa, but you can still sit on my lap!" (pedo alert!)
- No, that's too rude to write here!
- In Grade 5, my class was doing a performance in front of the whole school, and my old friend was doing the singing. Halfway through, he forgot the words, so he starting panicking and making up random stuff...and while I was on stage, I ROFLed! Seriously – I lost control in front of the whole school – and I got in trouble.
- If you’ve played Super Mario Sunshine, you might remember the starting cutscene with the Toads saying “What’s this icky, paint-like goop? It’s moving!” Then Toadsworth says “Now now, boys, don’t touch that stuff!”
Imagine they were saying this about a massive dump that Mario did on the Delfino Airstrip!
- In the starting cutscene of Mario vs. Donkey Kong, DK is watching TV, and then an ad comes on that says “mmm, bananas, mmm-“ then DK changes the channel and discovers Mini Marios. WTF?! As if DK wasn’t interested in bananas!
- Bowser doing ballet...ZOMG!
- Imagine a heap of gangster Toads break dancing and rapping...in their funny Toad voices!
- In Super Paper Mario, the quote by Fracktail is LOL funny! It’s written at the top of the Fracktail page.
- Imagine Peach and Daisy having a full-on bitch fight!
- On an episode of the comedy cartoon called “A Cartridge Affair” (if you’re Australian, you’ll recognise the pun on the show “A Current Affair”), Mario gets chased by a journalist after Bowser complains that he always cheats...and the newsreader says “His response was (monotonous voice -) Mama-mia, no comment-a!”
- There was a guy at my primary school who had a strong accent, and when we were studying environments such as beaches, he kept on saying ‘bitch’ instead of ‘beach!’ Man, I ROFLed!
- You know how nerrs like us write ‘pwn’ instead of ‘own?’ Well, imagine an old person saying “I pwn this house!”
- In Year 8, there was a really short guy who had to stand up because he was in trouble, but he was behind the desk, so the teacher said “Stand up!” and someone pointed out that he already was!
- Don’t eat muffins on a Thursday!
- I gots sharp, pointy teef.
- "And that's how baby Dwarves are made."
"Oh."
Some dwarves in Warcraft 3 said that.
- Once my mum was angry and she said "Oh, go and bake your head!"
- Back in primary school, the language we learnt was Greek (man, that's hard!), and one lesson the teacher put a Greek CD on, and it was for little Greek kids, so it sounded all babyish, and then she played in backwards, fast-forward mode! Just imagine that!
- Once I was at a restaurant with some random Indian people I don't eveen know, and one of them saw that I wasn't eating anything that night, so she said "Are you allergic to food?" - and she was asking it seriously!
- A guy was clinging on to another guy with a really hairy chest, and he said "Arrrgh! I'm getting rug burn from your chest!"
- HOLY CRAP! I just noticed at the top of this list is a hilarious typo...have a look! I'll leave it there just for the sake of it. I mean, the word 'stiff' is a bit of a dangerous typo...
- The funniest picture I've ever seen...er, just Google this: "Pokeman cats"...it's ROFL funny!
- Voice changes are hilarious...back in Year 8, there was a guy doing an oral presentation, and at the end, he went to say "Thanks for listening" ... and it was like "Thanks for LISTENING!
- DO SCARY DEMON VOICE: "I am the master of darkness itself....ouch!, Crap, it's too dark in here.
- Hey...imagine what Mario would sound like after inhaling helium...
- Instead of goodbye, one of my 'friends' said this in a high-pitched voice: Toodles!
- I was watching Muesli Road one day...what? Oh sorry, I meant Sesame Street.
- One day on Elmo's World (a funny little kid's show which I never watch for obvious reasons), they have a theme each episode, and Elmo said in his retarde high voice "Today we're going to talk about.....BALLS! I love balls,they're fun to play with, and they can bounce!"
No kidding, he said that.
- If you want ultra LOL pictures, co to ROFLCAT.com ... something like that.
83. OK, so I was in some random post office lined up in a queue with my mum, and on one side of our line was all this reduced to clear stuff that post offices sell, despite the products having nothing to do with post...or offices. They had a bunch of picture books for kids displayed, and I saw one that had Elmo - the fuzzy red dude from Muesli Road (oh whoops, I meant Sesame Street) on the cover. And Elmo was using a stethoscope and putting the end on his fishbowl, which contained his goldfish (it's sad that I remember the name of the fish - Dorothy).
The thing that scared me most was the title of the book: Listen to Your Fish
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!
They're giving little kids some wrong ideas these days.
84. Here's how to tell if you're too sleepy to be playing games... Once I got up early and played Mario Kart Wii, and when I completed all 4 races of the Grand Prix, I thought it the big word was 'CONGOATULATIONS!' ................ I even told my dad to look at this huge glitch I thought I'd found, but on closer inspection, it was just my imagination. Bleck...waz mbarrazin!
85. In my English class (no, we don't call the subject "Australian"), we're studying one of Shakespeare's famous plays, Romeo & Juliet (Blechhh....love story, too mooshy for me). Anyway, here's an actual line which one of the characters says (I think it was a female)...
"I would say thou hadst sucked wisdom from thy teat."
I was like "WHAT THE FUDGE!? That's ripping off my Suck my knowledge quote! He just changed it to wisdom...pfft.
86. You know how the Cookie Monster is addicted to cookies? Well, that's because of a certain powdery ingredient!
87. My dog is so stupid, if you quickly put your hand up over her head, she flicks her brick-shaped head back and smacks it into random hard surfaces, and doesn't notice! Pfft...dogs.
88. I was on the bus one day (man,I HATE pubic transport ), and...
Oh no! I meant PUBLIC transport!
89. OK, I’ll try again: I was on the bus one day (man, I HATE public transport), and they always have stickers on the windows that say
“This seating area reserved for the elderly and people with disabilities.”
But, typical for a bus, someone had scraped off some bits, so it said
“This _eating area reserved for the elderly and people with di_abi__ties”
LOL.
90. I once asked my dad how many days he thought it would take to fix up a problem on my computer, and he responded like this:
- HUGE fart* *medium fart* *rumbler fart* *trumpet blast* - and said “That’s how many days – 4.”
91. I told my friend to get me a Pink Jam Donut, and he pissed himself laughing! I don’t get it...
ULTRA FUNNIES BELOW!
92. OK, here’s a special gaming glossary of terms that non-nerdy people probably don’t understand…
Confused by the latest slang, lingo, or ‘slingo’? Don’t know a FRANPS from a FLIMP? All the cool kids made fun of you because you called an action game with platform elements a platform game with action elements? (You idiot). Old and senile? Young and haven’t yet learned any language? A member of an undiscovered tribe deep in the Amazon rainforest and have never heard of videogames, or electricity for that manner? Well crap your pants in fear of social awkwardness no more! Soon you’ll be ‘shooting the aardvark’ with the ‘hardcore,’ thanks to this Gaming Glossary!
GAMING GLOSSARY FOR NOOBS:
analog stick - A large wooden staff, used for beating analogs.
apple fritters - A term used by experienced online gamers, referring to opponents who are easily turned into apple fritters.
bump mapping - Gamer slang for 'checking out' an attractive woman.
D-Pad - AKA 'Daddy Pimp-Lad,' a famous rapper popular among gamers.
fronking the wip-wibble - Playing against a computer opponent (robot).
Gordon Freeman - Creator of the Super Mario series.
Harvest Moon Cow - The beast that gamers sacrifice to their heathen god, to ensure plentiful apple fritters, and also because they are violent little psychos.
HD - The key feature of next-gen gaming, HD stands for 'Hardwood Desks,' as gamers have an eye for solidly built furniture. Many gamers are carpenters themselves.
jumping game - A 'First-Person Shooter'
Master Chief - As opposed to all those subordinate chiefs, you see.
M. Bison - A corruption of 'embison,' meaning to cover with bison.
platformer - A high shoe, favoured by serious FPS gamers, along with sequined handbags and glittery eyeshadow.
Pong - What hardcore gamers do after a couple of days.
RTS - 'Return To Sorbet' ... Modern game discs are made from concentrated lemon sorbet. When gamers dislike a game, they suggest it ought to be lemon sorbet once more.
SHMUP - 'Say, Have (You) Met Ungulate Penguins?' - A phrase used to mock 'noobs' who accidentally suggest or refer to some manner of bizarre evolutionary anomaly.
sprite - The little demon who sits inside your game console and makes the disc spin.
Ubisoft - Ha ha, rhymes with 'boobie-soft.'
Xbox - Gamer slang for 'bowel.'
ZVWIGB - I dunno.
End of glossary.
93. Still funny to a certain extent:
Vocabulary of an average cow:
"Moo" - I'm Bored
"Moo" - I'm hungry
"Moo" - What's for lunch - grass?
"Moo" - Want some milk?
"MOOOOOOOOOO!!!" - Get the f*** off my meadow!
Oh, and they release large volumes of greenhouse gas, which is bad for the global warming thing.
94. If you haven't ever viewed it, search for the BJAODN page...it's where all the funny deleted nonsense of the Wiki goes. One of my articles got put on there, I made as a joke.
Things I HATE!
Game Related:
- Loading screens. But most Mario games are very quick to load, thank goodness.
- Side-quests with pathetic rewards, or none at all. But I like the Pit of 100 Trials in the Paper Mario series, they have fairly good rewards.
- Loading screens with DUCKS in them!
- Error messages, especially ones that mean you've lost heaps of progress.
- Power failures at the worst possible moments.
- Mario's high-pitched voice gets SOOOOOOOOOO annoying when you die for the 100th time on the same level!
- Cruel save points.
- Bad games.
- Games that have no rewards.
- Bad controls that make a game harder than it should be.
- Bosses that are way too hard.
- Games that don't have any fun sidequests.
- Secrets in games that are almost impossible to find.
- Chapter 7-3 and 7-4 of Super Paper Mario, MAN! That was so frustrating and boring, I wanted to throw my Wii Remote at the screen.
- The fact that Super Mario Sunshine was not as cool as I hoped it would be...apart from the awesome graphics.
- Sony and Microsoft, GO TO HELL! Nintendo PWNS!
- Sonic the Hedgehog...I regret buying Sonic and the Secret Rings on Wii (and at full price!)...that game was lame.
- Waluigi's voice makes me ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!
- People who are against video-games.
- I wish I'd never played [Mario Hoops 3 on 3]] (on DS), because when I got to the incredibly difficult final stage, I got so angry that there are still permanent marks on the touch screen, and spit stains on the top screen, from me swearing.
- The fact that my mum thinks the amount of time I spend on games is reducing my intelligence, when it is actually developing thinking skills. BTW, my Wii says that on an average weekend, I play for about 9 hours on both days, and 2 hours every weekday after bloody school.
- Sony and Microsoft... they treat Nintendo like...IT MAKE ME ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Games that suck! (eg. The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning - what a waste of time that piece of junk was)
- Pokemon battles that go like this...
The foe's MILOTIC used Ice Beam!
It's super effective!
Your TORTERRA fainted!
Dom sent out RAICHU!
Dom's RAICHU used Thunder!
RAICHU's attack missed!
The foe's MILOTIC used Surf!
It's a critical hit!
RAICHU fainted!
...........etc................
That often happens to me, and then my DS suffers.
Not Game Related / Basically Just Random
- Healthy food. EWWW! GROSS!
- Politics. WTF?! Look at all those sad fraks who run our countries. Pfft...get a life...although then there would be an anarchy, which is not good.
- The DS 'game' called The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning O......M.......G. Worst piece of s*** ever. A disgrace. And sadly, it was developed by an Australian company. How frustrating. I'd rate this game about 19%. It's that bad.
My Favourite Gaming Moments...
These are in random order...
- In Super Paper Mario ,when Laughing X-Naut (the 30th Sammer Guy) goes "HAH HAH!" just as The Void consumes the entire dimension.
- When Luigi and the Chaos Heart merge together to create Super Dimentio.
- When you arrive at the 100th floor of the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario:TTYD, and discover Bonetail, the ultimate secret boss.
- Lots of bits in Super Mario Galaxy were teh awesomeness. (like the splosions)
- In Super Mario World (my favourite 2D Mario game), when you find the well-hidden Special World. By the way, the 2nd level in this world, called Tubular, is the hardest Mario level I have ever played*!
Actually, I just realised that every level in the Special World is really hard, in fact, the one called Outrageous is possibly even harder!
- This is more of a scary moment...In the first Pikmin game (which I got for my 10th birthday), I was exploring the Distant Spring area, and I found a big pink egg in the middle of a huge lake. I attacked it with my Pikmin, and out came a really creepy secret boss called the Smoky Progg, which is essentially a phantom-like mutant frog. Take into account the creepy music in the Distant Spring, and that really freaked me out at that age!
- In Super Paper Mario, making Cudge the hammer Pixl say ANY word with less than 8 characters...oh, boy...I had HEAPS of fun!
- In Zelda: Twilight Princess, there were heaps of awesome cutscenes, and the atmosphere of the Twilight Realms was fully sick!
- In the original Super Mario Bros, when you manage to beat Bowser at the end of World 8 (DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS!!!!!!???? That's so bloody hard, that world!), and you save Princess Peach, and she says something like "How about you try a harder quest," and then you go back to World 1-1, but every level is EVEN HARDER!
- In Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, the Temple of the Ocean King is so cool! Each time you get to go a bit deeper, eventually getting down to the 13th floor, with the awesome final boss, called Bellum! I love teh Phantoms, especially when you finally get the Phantom Sword and can smash 'em!
- In Pokemon Emerald, the final battle with the Champion Wallace is so epic! Man, I relied completely on healing potions to survive that ultra-hard battle!
- In the first Paper Mario, very early in the game, Bowser uses the Star Rod to zap Mario with a lightning bolt, which knocks him flying out of the window of Peach's castle...and then it's so cool when you see him falling through the clouds in slow motion, with that sweet eerie music playing gently in the background...then the title Paper Mario appears!
- In Pokemon Pearl, going right up to the top of Mt. Coronet, while fighting tough wild Pokemon and much tougher Team Galactic dudes...then the climax is the battle with Cyrus...and after that, you encounter Palkia, the legendary Pokemon.
- Getting my Action Replay DS ('illegal' hacking device) to work, and unlocking all the Event Pokemon! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTNEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Weird Things I've Done
- I played hide-and-seek with my cat and my dog.
- I ate spaghetti with chopsticks for 2 years of my life, every night.
- I PURPOSELY set up a row of shcool chairs and ran into them, just to trip over and 'impress' the girls (that was in Grade 4)
- Me and my friend in Grade 2 used to show off to the girls by running past their hangout spot and pretending to be cowboys.
- I had some very airy bread (Turkish style), so I squashed it into a really compact little ball of airless bread, and when I ate it, it gave me indigestion, and I could feel it going down. Don't try this at home!
My Favourite Video Game Music
They are sorted by game:
Pokemon Pearl (as in Diamond/Pearl)
1. The unique battle music of either Dialga (in Diamond) or Palkia (in Pearl) is totally epic! It starts with gentle piano stuff, then gets really cool...yep.
2. The battle against the Champion in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl is fully sick to the max, bro! It's...cool, so listen to it! NOW! So what...listen to it in the toilet if you must......</wtf?>
3. The battle music of the final boss (SPOILER!) of Super Paper Mario, Super Dimentio. It is cool and suits the freaky boss.
Paper Mario series (there are 3, as you know)
1. The final boss of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (SPOILER!), called the Shadow Queen, has awesome spooky music, whih changes the second time, after the long cutscene.
2. In Super Paper Mario, the theme called Into The Darkness which plays during the between-chapter scenes while Luigi and Peach try to escape from Castle Bleck...it PWNS!
Warcraft 3
1. The end credits have an awesome metal song, and I'm not even a heavy metal person (I'm a techno guy). Seriously, it's all evil and demonic, talks about cool stuff, and it's being sung by an Orc dressed as a white wolf. Beat that, Michael Jackson..................... OK, that was random, I mean, why did I choose him/her?
2. I 'remixed' the Human campaign background music (which is pretty lame), by changing the pitch to 2x higher (in an external program), and it sounded wicked!
To be continued...
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