List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes by Luigi

Main article: List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes

This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! said by Luigi.

The Bird! The Bird!

• "I can't! I'm allergic to mountains!"
• "Puh-puh-polar bear?! Lunch?!"
• "He was the nicest little fungus I ever knew!"
• "Who could forget? Don't take chances or you'll go down the drain!"
• "Mamma mia!"
• "Or to us!"
• "Worse? How could it be worse?"
• "M-M-Mario! It's a Bob-Omb!"
• "Look out! Here comes a whole squadron of King Koopa's Bob-Ombers!"
• "It's an avalanche! Let's get outta here!"
• "What is that thing?"
• "Hey, Super Mario! Super cook their goose!"
• "It's too late, Princess! They got us surrendered!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) WORMS?!"

King Mario of Cramalot

• "Hey! That buzzin's for real!"
• "Look out! They're comin' back!"
• "C-C-Crama's here in-in Koopalot? Uh...I mean, uh...Koopa's here in Cramalot? I mean, uh...shee! Let's split this place!"
• "Now we'll never get back to Brooklyn!"
• "We're trapped in a dungeon about to be executed! How could things be any worse?!"
• "Mario, please! Don't say another word!"
• "Never mind that! Just get us outta here before we turn into mushed macaroni!"
• "Look! He's becomin' Super Mario!"
• "Me?! But there- B-b-but I can’t! I'm-I'm gonna have a baby!"
• "Ehh... Well...it was worth a try!"
• "Miserable minestrone! The Koopas got away again!"

Butch Mario & The Luigi Kid

• "Hey, Mario, I told you we shouldn'ta come! This place is full of dangerous outlaws!"
• "Mario, it's gettin' sticky! Do somethin'!"
• "Hey! What's the matter with King Koopa's wagon? Is it broken?"
• "(*with Mario*) Mouser?!"
• "Villains? Yo! I never villain nobody! I'm uh-"
• "Oh no! En dend! I mean, uh, dend ed! I mean, shee... We're trapped!"
• "You-you-you leap! I'll look!"
• "Oh, no! Sheriff Mouser's raised the reward for our capture!"
• "Hey! Look over there!"
• "Help? Help who?"
• "Who's me?"
• "(with Mario) Him!"
• "(with Mario) Patty-cake, patty-cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!"
• "Yeah! I mean, we're so thirsty, we don't know what we're doin'!"
• "Alright! Yeah!"
• "Yo! I need a doctor!"
• "Gee, I hope we can find her, before the Sheriff's posse finds us."
• "Hey! Hey, fellas! Look! Egg melons!"
• "Yiiipes!"
• "Oh... Thanks, Mario. But I can't breathe in here. I'm a gondola!"
• "Yipes! Now we're all gondolas!"
• "Me countin' cheeps always puts me to sleep."
• "Waiting and rilling! I mean, uh...raiting and willing! I mean... Oh, just flush!"

Mario's Magic Carpet

• "Mamma mia! We should've rented a camel with air conditioning!"
• "Mario, it's a mirage! The sun's hot-boiled your brain!"
• "It's a trap-oline!"
• "Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over a hundred bucks!"
• "So what's all the magic mumbo-jumbo about that lamp, and what do you do? Pull a rabbit out of it?"
• "Mario, don't try to kid me! How could a genie be in that lamp?"
• "Are you magic? I mean, really magic? Are you a genie?"
• "Hey. Looks like you rubbed out a wrong way!"
• "Koopa's gettin' away! We'll never catch him on foot!"
• "No problem! Any drain you got, we can fix. We're plumbers!"
• "Oh boy! Full speed ahead!"
• "Yeah. But if Koopa sees us, we're goners!"
• "We're coming, Princess! KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!!!"
• "Hey! I just remembered! I speak Pidgit!"
• "Pidgit, pidgit, pidgit. Pidgit, pidgit."
• "I told them if he wants really yummy carpet, to head to Koopa!"

Rolling Down the River

• "How much longer we gotta keep these guys busy?"
• "I don't like it. Toad should've been back by now."
• "So, what do we do now, Mr. Big-Time Gambler?"
• "What do we do now?"
• "Oh no! Trouters! The game's not over! Swim!"
• "{with Mario} Grateful!"
• "And we'll never get Princess and Toad back!"
• "Alright, Mario! One all ya got, comin' right up!"
• "Mario! What's goin' on up there?"
• "Leapin' lasagna!"
• "Hear that...Ma-Mario? We're-we're...fish bait!"
• "If you're asking me, there's no way past that black pit."
• "Yo! How can the river go around it?"
• "Mamma mia!"
• "(with Toad) We will?"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) To Mark Twang, King of the River! Long may he reign!"

The Great Gladiator Gig

• "Keep your mustache on, Mario! We'll be in time for the dinner!"
• "See? We're here ahead of time! We got a half an hour till chow!"
• "EARTHQUAKE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"
• "It's some place, but I don't know what place!"
• "(*with Mario*) CAPTURE US?!?!"
• "He's too busy eating, Mario! He's your kinda horse."
• "Mario, we've got trouble!"
• "That was some trick, Mario!"
• "They're gonna catch us, Mario!"
• "This don't look good for the good guys."
• "What's he going to do with that net, Mario?"
• "HEEEELP!!!"
• "Get 'em?"
• "Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!"
• "D'oh! So is he! We can't keep this up forever, Mario! There's too many of them...I mean, him!"
• "You lost your noodle?"
• "We've got no chance against these lions, Mario!"
• "Look at these guys eat, Mario! Maybe we should stay here and open a chain spaghetti restaurant!"
• "Gulp! One extra plate of spaghetti...comin' right up!"

Mario and the Beanstalk

• "You already did."
• "Just tell us how many gold coins you'll give us."
• "Garbanzo beans! Show 'er, Mario!"
• "Uh oh. Great garbanzos!"
• "I dunno, Mario! We're already too high!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library! Wow!"
• "Well, this has been fascinating... Let's scramble home."
• "Uh oh!"
• "Hey! I think it's locked!"
• "You first, Mario! You're older!"
• "I read you, paisano!"
• "Strobin' stromboli! It's a mountain of gold money!"
• "We got just the thing for this beanstalk in our plumbing bag!"
• "TIMBERRRRRRR!!!"
• "Me too!"

Love 'Em and Leave 'Em

• "What's that beep?"
• "Help, Mario! I'm fallin' over!"
• "Whew! Thanks a lot!"
• "Holy ravioli! Hey, M-M-M-Mario! Tell me one more time how a plumber knows when he's in trouble?"
• "Her dungeon?"
• "Let's get outta here!"
• "Do you think that's our... Gulp! ...last meal?"
• "We're sure in deep spaghetti."
• "Oh, poor Mario! We gotta save him!"
• "Yo! Let's get cooking!"
• "Maybe it had to be a CD! Come on, keep cookin'!"
• "Come on! Mario's wedding is starting!"
• "Let's play cupid!"
• "Whoa! No! Don't drink that!"
• "Oh no!"

The Great BMX Race

• "(with Mario) Holy ravioli!"
• "Mamma mia!"
• "Hey! It's a bike race! And we got a bike!"
• "Gee... Looks like we scared 'em off!"
• "On second thought, Mario, those guys scared ME off!"
• "Hey, Mario! You sure you know what you're doin'?"
• "Leapin' lasagna!"
• "I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach..."
• "Yeah... Just wish we could hear what cheer they were yelling!"
• "But Mario! What about the race?"
• "Well, that's what I call ten meals!"
• "You betcha!"
• "They're tryin' to push us over the cliff!"
• "MARIOOOOO!!! WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!!"
• "M-M-Ma-Mario! D-D-D-Do something!"
• "Now I know why they call that a plumber's helper!"
• "I thought hangin' around all day was the better choice."
• "Mario! They're catchin' up!"
• "Mario! Whoa! Nice jumpin', Mario!"
• "Yo, what do we do now? Call a tow truck?"
• "I th-think I liked it when we outnumbered them!"
• "(*with Mario*) Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as quick as you can!"
• "We'll smother them in succotash!"
• "It's not my fault!"
• "You mean I risked my neck for nothing?!"

Stars in Their Eyes

• "What's better than this?"
• "And the bad news?"
• "And I got the toolbox!"
• "Here! Use these tools for ballast! They'll hold you down!"
• "Fat chance we'll find any on this deserted planet!"
• "(with Toad) Moon Man Koopa?!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! This whole tub is gonna sink!"
• "And for free!"
• "That's what I call shower power!"
• "Now how are we gonna sneak in?"
• "I hope these Quirk disguises work!"
• "Look! Supplies!"
• "Trouble!"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad*) Moon Man Koopa?! Oh no!"
• "Mamma mia! We've been nailed by the tools in our pockets!"
• "Quick! Run before Koopa closes your shackles!"
• "Really?"
• "Yes, sir!"
• "But it's not the time to think of your stomach now!"

Jungle Fever

• "What's so important we have to find this Sheldon guy anyway?"
• "Hey! How much farther to this witch doctor's village?"
• "Well, that's that! Time to turn back!"
• "Ya know, a bridge this rickety's gotta have a warning sign that says, 'Keep Off'!"
• "Wha...wha-what's that down below?"
• "Mario! It's not too late to go back!"
• "It is so bad!"
• "I dunno, but it's makin' me itch somethin' terrible!"
• "At 5 'o clock, too!"
• "Yeah! I feel like I was bit by a million mosquitoes!"
• "Koopa's really done it to us this time!"
• "I'm too exhausted to scratch anymore."

Brooklyn Bound

• "Mamma mia! I'm bein' totally blown awaaay!"
• "I've had it, I've HAD it! I'm sick of Koopa chasing us from world to world! I wanna go home!"
• "Hey! What's this thing?"
• "Mighty mostaccioli! Can this be true?"
• "The Duke of Drains! The Prince of Pipes! But he disappeared!"
• "Brooklyn! Home sweet home!"
• "Oh boy! Lead us to that drainpipe!"
• "I guess we stay in Mushroom Land."
• "Give 'er a try, Sal!"
• "N-N-Now you tell me."
• "What do you mean "Who needs Brooklyn?"'"
• "Been nice knowing ya, Princess."
• "You hear that? Brooklyn!"
• "Take care of yourselves, eh?"
• "They've been Koopanapped!"
• "Mario's right! The Princess and Toad need us! So long, Sal!"
• "Hey, thank you, Sal."
• "I thought we were gonna sneak up on 'em, Mario."
• "(*with Mario*) Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!"
• "Holy ravioli, Mario! You didn't say nothin' about gettin' kissed!"

Toad Warriors

• "Mario! W-W-W-W-Watch out!"
• "M-Me?! I-I don't know how to fly! I-I don't even know how to drive!"
• "What goes up, must go down!"

The Fire of Hercufleas

• "Bad guys! Look behind us!"
• "King Koopa's here?"
• "(*pants*) I'll say. There must be a thousand steps to go before we reach the top!"
• "Dumpy Guy Eatin' Donuts."
• "Right! We will?"
• "We're barbecued meatballs!"
• "I hope this works!"
• "We're gonna need more than spit! With that kinda firepower, King Koopa's unstoppable!"
• "Uh, yeah! But I still think we're in deep spaghetti!"
• "(*with Mario*) No pain, no clog in the drain!"

Count Koopula

• "I'm cold and wet and hungry, Mario. How about some spaghetti?"
• "But you had three orders! I only had one!"
• "I'm not goin' in there! It looks like a boarding house for vampires!"
• "I do."
• "I don't like this creepy castle!"
• "Wh-wh-what're you lookin' at?"
• "Look at the p-p-paintings!"
• "I tell ya... There's vampires here!"
• "He-he-hey! Where did you get that? I thought the Tweeter Bat stole your spaghetti!"
• "Holy macaroni!"
• "Now will you believe me? Tomato sauce-sucking vampires! Let's get outta here!"
• "(*with Mario*) Vampires!"
• '"Spe-spe-s-s-spe..."
• "D-d-d-d-do something, Mario!"
• "Way to go, Princess!"
• "He's turnin' 'em into W-W-W-W-Wereturtles!"
• "Yeah, Princess! Don't worry! It's us they're after! ...US?!?!'"'
• "Cobwebs?! That means sp-sp-spiders!"
• "Holy macaroni!"
• "This tickle torture is not funny!"
• "Yo, my brother, the pasta vampire!"

Pirates of Koopa

• "Yeah! Why did ya?"
• "Did you say Blackbeard Koopa?!"
• "Storm? What storm? There's not a cloud in- ...the sky."
• "Holy calamari!"
• "What do you see, Mario?"
• "Maybe we should take a vote on that, Captain."
• "Hey! We could sing! ♪ 100 bottles of milk on the wall, 100 bottles of milk! If one of the bottles should happen to fall, 99 bottles of milk on the wall! ♪"
• "Leapin' linguinni! That's a high sea!"
• "Macaroni misery, Mario! We're sunk!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! It worked! Come on! Lets get jumpin'!"
• "Creepin' calamari!"
• "Way to go, Mario!"
• "Now how do we save her? We got no ship, no cannons, no weapons! We got three men, one Mushroom, and a parrot against their five hundred!"
• "I'll take a milk!"
• "I bid a billion!"
• "Holy macaroni!"

Two Plumbers and a Baby

• "Yo! Calamitous clam sauce! Koopa's capturing all those children!"
• "Let's get outta here!"
• "This doesn't seem like a good time for bird-watchin', Mario."
• "Holy pepperoni! Careful, Mario! She's not a sack of tomatoes, ya know!"
• "But in the meantime, we got ourselves a baby princess to take care of!"
• "And if she gets lost?!"
• "Mario! What're you doing down here? The Princess went thattaway!"
• "Holy ravioli, Mario! Look!"
• "Hurry, Mario, before the Trouters get her!"
• "There will be, if we can get her to take a nap!"
• "Holy spumoni! She's gone!"
• "Now we'll never get the Princess back to her right age!"
• "{*with Mario*} Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!"
• "(spoken by Mario due to an animation error) Good thing you used the extra pipe for this Koopa Catcher, huh, Mario?"
• "The water's goin' backwards!"

The Adventures of Sherlock Mario

• "Gee, that Mario. He could pulverize a pasta factory and still have room for dessert!"
• "Holy ravioli! Someone's in trouble!"
• "Mysterious meat sauce! Look!"
• "K-K-Kidnapped?! Uh, by who?"
• "Loony linguinni! Mario thinks that hat makes him a detective!"
• "It's a dictator machine!"
• "Great garlic! The Koopa's here in Victoria!"
• "Calaminous calzone! I've been disarmied!"
• "We're trapped, like hairballs in a drainpipe!"
• "Sufferin' spaghetti! How can you think of food at a time like this?!"
• "Frustratin' fettuccine! Koopa's got away again!"

Do You Princess Toadstool Take this Koopa...?

• "{*with Mario*} Leapin' lasagna!"
• "We will?"
• "This is awful! We gotta get outta here and stop that crazy wedding!"
• "{*with Mario*} Dig!"
• "And if you figured wrong?"
• "We've been diggin' a long time, Mario!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! We're not even in the castle anymore!"
• "Which means...he kept his promise! Now the Princess HAS to marry Koopa!"
• "Yeah! Now what do we do?"
• "And exactly how do we get inside the castle?"
• "I told ya it wouldn't work!"
• "I don't believe they fell for the ol' bug soup trick!"
• "{*with Mario*} HOORAY! Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!"
• "Holy macaroni! We're lost inside this cockamamy castle again! We'll never find the Princess!"
• "Oh! Sorry, Toad."
• "It is?"
• "Gee! Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!"
• "If we ever get outta this, Toad, I'm puttin' you on a diet!"
• "I don't care if ya turn him into ravioli! Just get him off my back!"
• "Whew... Not as tired as me!"
• "Forget about that! The wedding is starting!"

The Pied Koopa

• "Yeah, too bad they can't grow with meatballs or somethin'."
• "Why would he want all of Pasta Land's bambinos?"
• "Your plans had a few leaks in it, Mario."
• "There's no place we can go, Mario!"
• "Whaddaya mean safe? We're trapped in King Koopa's dungeon!"
• "Oh! Is that all? Piece of cake!"
• "Careful, Mario! There could be real danger behind that door!"
• "Are you kiddin'? We're gonna spend the rest of our lives as fish! What could be worse?"
• "Holy macaroni! We're runnin' outta room to hide!"
• "You guys land in one piece?"
• "I don't like high places!"
• "You got a point!"
• "What was I scared of? That was a real soft landing!"
• "With that many guards, we'll never free those bambinos!"
• "Are you kiddin'? We've played in the Brooklyn Plumbing School Band for three years!"
• "You were eating! I was holding your salami sandwich while you turned the page."
• "That's what YOU think!"
• "If we can!"

Koopenstein

• "First we gotta get in!"
• "Hey! I resemble that!"
• "I, uh, I left it at home! I'll be right back!"
• 'You got him!"
• "You don't got him!"
• "Mario? Are you okay?"
• "Yo, careful!"

On Her Majesty's Sewer Service

• "Terrifying tortellini! We're faaaaaaaaallin'!"
• "Us?!"
• "I see!"
• "(*with Mario*) Oh!"
• "Yo, what Spymobile? It's just an old plumber's truck!"
• "Uh, let's really keep it a secret that we're agents, eh, by stayin' here!"
• "Lousiness linguinni! Koopfinger's gettin' away with the gold!"
• "Yo! Good thing this windshield's made up of Snifit-proof glass!"
• "Albatoss comin' in for a Bob-Omb attack!"
• "Calamitous calzone! We've been Koopa captured!"
• "Nervous noodles! I don't think I like this game!"
• "The Tunnel of D-D-Doom?"
• "I wonder why they call this place the uh, Tunnel of Doom? I think I just figured it out! Look!"
• "Perilous pizza! Look!"
• "Sufferin' spumoni! We're trapped!"
• "Lucky linguinni! I thought we were dead meatballs!"
• "We're back in Koopfinger's hideout!"
• "(*with Mario*) Super spy surprise!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "He's escapin' into a Warp Zone!"
• "Yo, miserable mozzarella! The Koopas got away again!"
• "Ah, it was nothin'! Danger is our business!"

Mario and Joliet

• "Looks like we landed in the middle of a feud!"
• "Actually, I kind of like it here. Aaaaah! On second thought, I'll stick with you guys!"
• "Gallopin' garlic! Look!"
• "Terrible tortellini! We're gonna be crushed!"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad*) Koopa!"
• "Look! The moat's filled with Trouters!"
• "Annette Funicello? Where?"
• "Fantastic fettuccini!"

Too Hot to Handle

• "Sufferin' spumoni! That Fire God's sure actin' strange!"
• "Cut it out!"
• "Lucky linguini! A pineapple patch!"
• "Yo, Mario! Got any ideas?"
• "I'll bet Koopa's behind this!"
• "What are we gonna do?"
• "Monkey wrench!"
• "Hacksaw!"
• "For Koopa!"
• "I know! Pluggin' up pipes goes against everything we stand for!"
• "Mario! Here comes Koopa!"
• "Now what?"
• "Welcome aboard, Princess!"
• "I can't look!"
• "Whew!"
• "I knew we were still in trouble!"

Hooded Robin and His Mario Men

• "Nobody up here, but us plumbers!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! Koopa's got him captive! Arrivederci, Robin!"
• "Sufferin' spaghetti! I wish you guys would make up your minds!"
• "The dungeon? I'm allergic to dungeons! I just knew that magic door would lead us to-"
  (Looks like Hooded Robin is talking the last few words)
• "(*with Mario and Hooded Robin*) Frygal?"
• "Yeah! And it's a lotta money, too!"
• "Frygoon's throwin' a temper tantrum!"
• "Better make that, 'The more for Mario!'"

20,000 Koopas Under the Sea

• "Gallopin' garbanzos! Leap for your lives! A sea monster!"
• "Holy macaroni!"
• "Mario? Mario? (spits water) Where did that creepy creature go?"
• "Uh oh! I think the volunteers are us!"
• "I don't think we should weigh this anchor. It'll break the scale!"
• "Does that mean we can go home?"
• "I just hope we see the sea monster before it sees us! Wha? Hey! Watch it!"
• "Wrong, Mario! It's got us!"
• "You wish! Look!"
• "Whoa! That's Koopa! Did the monster swallow him too?"
• "{*with Mario*} Good!"
• "{*with Mario*} Uh oh! Not so good!"
• "But how?"
• "You're here!"
• "Forget making plans! Let's make tracks!"
• "Huh? Look! Starmen!"
• "{*with Mario*} Starman, star bright! Give us pasta power! Give us pasta might!"
• "{*with Mario*} Now it's Koopa-bopping time!"
• "Holy Maria!"

Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold

• "We will?"
• "Lunch is served!"
• "I think he's right! Let's retreat! Regroup! Reruuuuun!"
• "We will?"
• "And the bell will beckon the Beezos! Well, that shoots that plan!"
• "And givin' me a headache!"
• "Uh oh! The jig's up!"

Mario Meets Koop-zilla

• "What's your hurry? Boy. When it comes to food, Mario's got a one-crack mind. Holy ravioli! It's an earthshake!"
• "(with Mario and Princess Toadstool) Koop-zilla?!"
• "Leapin' linguinni! How'd the Koopa get so big?"
• "I just hope this crazy plan of yours works!"
• "How lucky can we get?"
• "(with Mario) We did it!"
• "I thought you said your plan always worked!"
• "How are we ever gonna get out of this one?"
• "We're stuck here like hairballs in a drainpipe!"
• "Watch out, Mario!"
• "That's my brother, the pasta-pulverizing plumber!"
• "Great garlic! Now we can shrink that Koopy-Koop-zilla back down to size!"
• "What was the biggest?"
• "Miserable macaroni! The Koopa's got away again!"
• "Sufferin' spaghetti! Mario's no bigger than a mini meatball!"

Koopa Klaus

• "Mario! I got a funny feeling we are not in Hawaii Land!"
• "It's a plane!"
• "Mario! What's Koopa doin' up there, anyway?"
• "Don't do it, Koopa Klaus! You'll ruin Christmas for everyone!"
• "We gotta do somethin', Mario!"
• "I'm supposed to toss this to you?"
• "Ohhhhhh!"
• "You've gotta be kiddin'!"
• "I, uh, I don't know about this, Mario. That could be thin ice!"
• "You mean fight ice with ice!"
• "Looks pretty dark in there to me!"
• "We gotta get back in the cave, Mario!"

Mario and the Red Baron Koopa

• "Worse! I see a Koopa!"
• "Up in the sky? How?"
• "Are you guys sure this thing will hold all of us?"
• "Yipe!"
• "Yeah. Maybe we should just cool it."
• "Can't we just get 'em some coats?"
• "Is this carpet fireproof?"
• "I'm not sure this fireproof carpet is worth three faucet washers."
• "Help! We're gondolas!"
• "Screamin' spumoni!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! We're falling up!"
• "And we're really burnt up about it!"
• "Two?"
• "Now, if we just knew somebody crazy enough to fly it."
• "M-Me?"
• "Hey, I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb!"
• "Maybe we should do this tomorrow! The weather isn't safe!"
• "Oh yeah! Anybody else got a good excuse for not going?"
• "We are? No wonder I don't wanna look!"

The Unzappables

• "Lousiness linguini! Those gangster goons just robbed that bank!"
• "Lucky linguini! A Stool Pigeon!"
• "Our vegetables bounced right off o' them!"
• "I don't think he means a j-joyride!"
• "Well, here's another fine mess we've gotten into."
• "Lucky lasagna! A Starman!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) Cheeseballs!"
• "Swingin' spaghetti! Look at this place!"
• "Lousy lasagna! The Koopa's flown the Koop again!"
• "(with Princess Toadstool and Toad) To what?"

Bad Rap

• "Yo, somethin' tells me our plan's not right!"
• "If the Troopas don't get us, you guys will!"
• "These Bob-Omb birds ain't droppin' cannolis! We'd better split-o before they're holeys!"
• "You won't catch me touchin' that thing! Sparkles like that can really sting!"
• "Look, he's becomin' Super Mario!"
• "Wait, Mario! You forgot your spaghetti!"
• "That's it, Mario! Show 'em who's boss!"
• "Holy cannoli, we're in a real fuss! He's gonna make meatballs out of us!"
• "Don't make trouble!"

The Mark of Zero

• "Mario, I'm startin' to wonder if the legendary masked hero named Zero, really exists?"
• "Nervous noodles! We're surrounded!"
• "Wow! This Zero guy can get down, Mario!"
• "Uh, Mario? There are no people left in El Desert Land."
• "And we're outta here!"
• "Mario! Mario! HEEEEELP!!!"
• "Ow! Ow! You're hurtin' me!"
• "Way to go, Mario!"
• "Toss those tortillas!"
• "Yay! We did it!"
• "...Zero Plus One!"
• "I think I'll take the stairs!"
• "I hope this works!"
• "Hey! It works! It works!"
• "And how are we supposed to get in there, Mario? Just fly over the walls?"
• "Mario? I'm not sure I like this idea!"
• "Holy ravioli! I'm flying!"
• "Being 'em on! I'm ready for 'em this time! What am I saying?"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad*) You're Zero?!"

The Ten Koopmandments

• "Koopmandment number 2: Thou shall hire no plumbers."
• "This place is emptier than a flushed drainpipe!"
• "R-r-r-run for our lives?"
• "Gulp! I was afraid he was gonna say that!"
• "Mario! Look! Koop Tut turned the Three Mushrooms into bricks!"
• "I want my mommy!"
• "Creepin' calzone!"
• "I thought that Goomba Mummy was scary, but look!"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad*) A Phanto!"
• "Lucky linguini! I thought we were up the pipe without a plunger!"
• "Magic mozzarella! The Koopinx bricks have been turned back into Mushroom People!"
• "Spectacular spaghetti! The Red Sauce Sea is parting!"

The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!

• "Yeah! It's freezin' cold and your stove needs more wood!"
• "Sizzling salami! Mario and Toad have been deep freezed!"
• "Yeah! When our soldiers thaw out, we're gonna throw your tea in the harbor!"
• "Diet? I heard that! I'm not the one who needs to diet!"
• "The iceman is here! But the General is retreating!"
• "I got it, Mario! I had it."
• "But I get seasick on a horse!"
• "A cow- Whoooooaaaaa!"
• "Holy ravioli! The Koopas are coming! The Koopas are coming!"
• "The Koopas are coming!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! The Beezos are coming!"
• "Thanks! Whew! I'm glad one of us has some horse sense!"
• "Over this way! We'll lose the Beezos in the woods! Buzz off, Beezos!"
• "Oh! Lemme go, Beezos! Help! Oh no! Now I'm a prisoner and the Koopish army can attack without warning!"
• "Oh, yeah? Just you wait until Mario gets here with General Washingtoad!"
• "No problem, Mario!"
• "Leapin' lasagna!"
• "Let me have it, ya little snowball!"
• "I got it, Mario! I got it!"
• "Mario! Catch!"

The Trojan Koopa

• "Aw, Toad. Didja have to say 'dead?'"
• "Mario, I hate this plan!"
• "Make that big problissimo! Look! It's the Hammer Brothers!"
• "Speak for yourself, Mario!"
• "Mega misery, Mario! We'll never get past that wall!"
• "Then let you in the fort, and rescue the Princess! I can do it... I can do it..."
• "I can't do it..."
• "Look out! Here comes an unidentified flying fungus!"
• "Yeah! And we can't get in there either."
• "Make that double trouble!"
• "(*with Mario*) Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man! Give me pasta power as fast as you can!"
• "But, we still gotta get in Koopa's fort and save the Princess!"
• "Throw 'em off guard? For what?"
• "Yeah. But I hate being cooped up in a Koopa!"
• "Leapin' lasagna! Koopa thinks he's an inferior decorator!"
• "Let's go!"
• "(*with Mario and Toad*) Oh no!"
• "Tragic tetrazzini! This rescue's going straight down the drain!"
• "Victorious vermicelli! We beat the mean and nasties!"

Quest for Pizza

• "Mario? Mario! Wake up!"
• "Oh no! We're trapped!"
• "(*with Princess Toadstool's voice due to an animation error*) What's that about mashed potatoes?"
• "Forget the stupid pictures! What about the real Mario?"
• "Pepperoni cheesecake... Meatball sandwiches... Garlic ravioli and prosciutto spaghetti! Wake up, Mario! Please, wake up!"
• "Did she say...pizza?"
• "That'll make him well? But I didn't bring any pizza! Well, no problem! We'll just order take-out!"
• "Ooh! Easy for you to say "ooga-booga"! You don't have to milk this thing!"
• "Right! Mario would do the same for me!"
• "Sufferin' spumoni!"
• "Yuck! Run!"
• "How does ground acorn pizza crust sound?"
• "We'll just have to make do!"
• "LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!!"
• "Whoever said, 'It's as easy as pizza pie!', was nuts!"
• "Well, it's not Pappy's Pizza from Brooklyn, but it's just what the medicine woman ordered!"
• "Holy macaroni! The pizza! It's ruined!"
• "No need to translate! Mario's gondola if he doesn't get pizza...fast!"
• "It's not pizza if it's not cooked! No fire, no pizza!"
• "If we can get it, we can save Mario!"
• "Hold it, Caveboy! We can get there faster with a little bodywork!"
• "Hey! Wait for me!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "Drop 'em, you Louseasaurus!"
• "Look! It's the Fire Flower!"
• "Prepare to cave in, scalebait!"
• "Oh no! Time's almost up! We have to cook Mario's pizza!"
• "Okay, pizza! Do your stuff!"
• "Mario! You're back among the eating!"
• "How ooga bugga bugga, waauga ma?"

The Great Gold Coin Rush

• "Holy cannoli! Koopa shot out the steering things!"
• "And bye-bye, us!"
• "Hit the brakes, Mariooooo!"
• "I think comin' in here was a big mistake!"
• "Ow! Someone's standin' on my toe, and it's not me!"
• "Just as soon as I find me, I'll let'cha know."
• "Leapin' lasagna! Look!"
• "Maybe we're not, but we still are!"
• "(*with Mario*) ♪ I've been working on the condo, all the live long day! ♪ "
• "Who said that?"
• "Hey! I thought you were the sheriff!"
• "And Super Luigi!"
• "Yeah! You're fired!"
• "Heheheheh... I'm scared enough for all of us."
• "He's gonna land real hard after this jump!"

Elvin Lives

• "Holy macaroni! We'll never find King Parsley without a translator!"
• "Yeah! Elvin Parsley is the real king! We gotta find him!"
• "What's that tapping sound?"
• "But the place is full of greaser Goombas! How are we gonna get past 'em?"
• "Mario? This is crazy! I can't play the bass, and Toad's no drummer!"
• "I just hope they don't do the same to us!"
• "Now you've done it!"
• "What a lowdown heel!"
• "Don't take it personal, shoes, but the Princess is in a jam! How are we gonna save her?"
• "Great idea, Mario! But, where do we get a hot rod?"
• "Way to go, Mario! You're beating him!"
• "How about that? Everything's comin' up Fire Flowers!"
• "Hey, Koopa Stoopa! Thought I'd just drop in!"
• "The king is back!"
• "(*with Princess Toadstool and Toad*) NO!"

Plummers Academy

• "Mario, come on! We gotta get outta here!"
• "We really have to do this to become a plumber?"
• "I think I wanna reconsider my career options."
• "Are you sure we wanna be plumbers?"
• "I guess that means no."
• "But, Sergeant! This isn't fair! We didn't have wrenches!"
• "Help! We're drowning!"
• "Holy macaroni!"
• "The most famous plumber who ever lived!"
• "Yeah, but we got the wrong stuff and we got flunked!"
• "I know. Boy, was awfully hard on Mom. Come on! We gotta find some other kinda line 'o work. Maybe we could be librarians!"
• "But Sergeant Kooperman says we got the wrong stuff, and-and that this is the worst leak anyone's ever seen!"
• "Yeah! The tough get plumbing!"
• "How? We're stuck in this place!"
• "Sure! Right here!"
• "Okay, Mario!"

Karate Koopa

• "Ruffling rigatoni! What are those?"
• "I'll bet you guys give up, huh?"
• "I didn't think so."
• "Then, you'll help?"
• "How 'bout the words 'scared' and 'petrified'?"
• "We'll never be able to defeat Karate Koopa and free the Princess!"
• "Can I think about it for a couple of years?"
• "Frantic fettuccine! It's Trouters!"
• "Look! A drainage pipe!"
• "Speak for yourself! I'm sweatin' like a Koopa!"
• "Well, that's one fight I timed just right!"
• "Come on, Mario!"

Mario of the Apes

• "Mario, are you crazy? Where there's a jungle, there's ferocious jungle beasts!"
• "I'm gettin' down!"
• "They've flown the Koopa, and they're takin' Mario with them!"
• "I don't know, but I hope it doesn't attack poor Mario...or poor us for that matter."
• "Mario could plug this pain drain!"
• "Lucky linguinni, Mario! Am I glad you found us!"
• "We have to follow Mario, and bring back his plumber-perfect personality!"
• "It's as clear as an unclogged drain! All we gotta do, is follow that food!"
• "Scary scaloppini! I'm afraid of heights!"
• "I can't climb a tree!"
• "I...I...I changed my mind! I wanna go back!"
• "Mario! They made a monkey outta you! But don't worry! This'll bring back your memory! It's your first monkey wrench!"
• "It's worse than I thought! This calls for drastic measures: a meatball memory motivator!"
• "Miraculous macaroni! The smell of that sandwich did it! The old Mario is back! No more of that Marzan stuff."
• "Relax, Princess! He knows who he is! Mario's always gone ape for meatballs!"

Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers

• "200 years? What are we gonna do?"
• "Yay! Wahoo!"
• "What's that awful smell?"
• "Toad!"
• "Macaroni misery, Mario!"
• "Calamitous clam sauce!"
• "I don't wanna see this!"
• "Speakin' of handy, look!"
• "Nope! I didn't say, "Chomp, chomp, chomp!""
• "Don't tell them that!"
• "Suffering spumoni! That was a little too close for comfort!"
• "Leapin' lasagnaaaaaa!"
• "Run!"
• "Wait a minute! You're always saying 'In here, quick!'"
• "In here, quick!"
• "Goodbye, Mario!"
• "Yeah! And thanks for the giant veggies, too!"
• "And that! And that!"

Little Red Riding Princess

• "I can!"
• "(with Mario and Toad) Wait for us!"
• "(with Mario and Toad) Koopa!"
• "What are we gonna do now, Mario?"
• "You don't think the real big bad wolf is in there...do ya?"

The Provolone Ranger

• "Yo, Mario! Easy on those bumps!"
• "Runaway ravioli! Then who's driving the stagecoach?"
• "Great garlic! That's Mario!"
• "Ciao, pardner!"

Escape from Koopatraz

• "Not guilty!"
• "500 years in Koopatraz State Prison?"
• "Warden Koopa?!"
• "Are you crying cause you're happy Toad has finally found his grandpa?"
• "Hey! That gives me an idea! We could shovel our way out of Koopatraz with these!"
• "Ten years? We'll be goners by then!"
• "Yeow! Sufferin' spumoni!"
• "(*with Toad and Gramps*) ♪ We just like to break his bones! ♪"
• "(*with Toad and Gramps*) ♪ Ooh, we hate that tub of lard! ♪"
• "Oh no!"
• "That's the last of Koopatraz Prison!"

Mario of the Deep

• "Are you outta your mind?! That's... That's... That's suicide!"
• "Neither. I'm a chicken of the sea. But we'll try your tricky plan."
• "Hey, fish-face! Naa-na-na-na-naa! Na-na-na-na-naaa-na!"
• "Jumpin' gelato! It's Barra-Koopa!"
• "You can say that again! Look!"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, Toad, and the Mermushroom*) Trouters!!"
• "Terrible tortellini! Look at those plumber-munching Piranha Plants!"
• "(*with Mario, Princess Toadstool, Toad, and the Mermushroom*) A Clawgrip!"
• "Looks like our pipe-patchin' days are over!"
• "Not for Koopa!"

Flatbush Koopa

• "Yeah! Life without Koopa is gonna be perfect as pasta!"
• "Yeah! Look! The tree that grows in Brooklyn! The Brooklyn Bridge!"
• "(*with Mario*) The Statue of Kooperty?!"
• "What's that doin' here?"
• "That was a real Koopa Troopa!"
• "You mean it was all a trick? He left the Princess's land to take over ours? Holy ravioli! (in Mario's voice) Yeah! This could be the worst badness he ever Koopatrated! C'mon! We gotta find him and stop him!"
• "And there's a bunch of Troopas already here!"
• "He's changin' Coney Island to Koopa Island!"
• "Nah! Not even Stoopa Koopa'd be that mean!"
• "Hey! Wait for us!"
• "We're in for it now, Mario."
• "You suppose Koopa can turn everybody in Brooklyn into bricks?"
• "Mario! Wait for me!"
• "Hey, Mario! Is this a one-way rollercoaster?"
• "Cause either them or us...is headin' the wrong way!"
• "What brakes?"
• "There isn't any! You got any more good suggestions?"
• "Yeah! The only good thing so far is, we got to ride the rollercoaster without a ticket!"
• "If I'd have known, Brooklyn was gonna be this scary, I'd have stayed with the Princess and Toad!"
• "Not when Koopa cheats!"
• "If we stop, the Troopa car will crush us!"
• "So, what do we do, Mario?"
• "What do you suppose he means by that?"
• "Mario! Let go of that Bob-Omb!"
• "Mario! Let go of that Bob-Omb!"
• "Yay! Way to go, Mario!"

Raiders of the Lost Mushroom

• "Uh oh! Trouble flyin' this way!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) An Albatoss!"
• "We're leakin' like a split drainpipe!"
• "Calamitous calamari! We've landed in a pond of quicksand!"
• "Good! Now that we got that settled...HEEEEELP!!!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) The Temple of Koopa?"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) Koopaphobia?"
• "Huh? We're trapped, like pasta in a spaghetti feed!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) A Fryguy!"
• "Snakes alive! Look!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) A Cobrat!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) The Lost Mushroom!"
• "Now all we've gotta do is find a way out of this spooky place!"
• "Look! The Lost Mushroom is answering Mario's wish!"
• "Sufferin' spumoni! Look!"
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) It's a Shyguy Lion!"
• "Wh-wh-what are you gonna do?"
• "This must be where Indiana Joe lives."
• "(with Mario, Princess Toadstool, and Toad) INDIANA JOE - BABYSITTER?"
• "Miserable manicotti! The Koopa's escaped into a Warp Zone!"

Crocodile Mario

• "Toad! Look out!"
• "Stop him, Mario! Tell him Italian food is not in his diet!"
• "I'm warnin' you, swamp-breath! Stay where you are! ...Please?"
• "Looks like you made him so mad, he brought his buddies to finish us off!"
• "I guess we showed those crocodiles who's boss! They won't snack on us!"
• "I think you'd better steer, Mario!"
• "Because I'm not opening my eyes, until we're safely outta here!"
• "Yeah, and they're...hoppin'...mad...we invaded...their swamp!"
• "Those rotten egg Birdoroos, are gonna sink us!"
• "How lucky can we get?"
• "If the boomerangs don't get us, the Birdoroo eggs will."
• "Leapin' lasagna!"
• "We'll crash up on the rocks!"
• "Mario! We're headin' right for that big rock! I hope it can steer better than we can!"
• "I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!"
• "Looks like that rock's gonna pull our plug!"
• "Abandon raft! Plumbers and cowards first! (*with Mario*) Geronimo!"
• "Mario! I never knew you were such a swinger!"
• "Whaddaya mean we lost Koopa's trail?"
• "If we can't find Koopa, then we can't save the Princess!"
• "What's that sound?"
• "You're wrong, Mario. It wasn't ducks! It was crocodiles!"
• "Scared of what?"
• "I am? What did I say?"
• "I know he's got the Magic Statue. So what? We can't find him! We lost his trail!"
• "Really? I knew that! You said I was a genius."
• "No worries? I got plenty of worries!"
• "Ah, ah, eee, eyah! Got him!"
• "There's only one problem, Mario! we're in their way!"
• "Whew! That was close!"

Star Koopa

• "Gulp! Uh oh! Mario, check your rearview video screen!"
• "Lemme see... Wait a second... What? Is it that? I forgot how to work my Lightplunger!"
• "Yay! Go, Mario! Yay!"
• "No wonder Mama told us to be careful in these things."
• "Yeah! They all had silverware stuck in them! But I was saving these for our next picnic lunch!"
• "Okay. Hi-hooooo, silverware!"
• "Being garbage really makes a guy feel down in the dumps."
• "Oof! Sorry!"

Robo Koopa

• "Holy macaroni! Did you see that? It's a metal monster shooting Bullet Bills!"
• "Koopa was scary enough, but he was just a slimy reptile!"
• "Hey, you crazy roboooot!"
• "{*with Bunsen*} That Koopa's a stinker!"
• "Macaroni misery! It's hopeless! Well, at least we tried!"
• "I know I'm gonna regret this, but...let's get 'em."
• "We're doomed!"
• "Robo Koopa's got the Princess and Toad, and we're hidin' out in a junkyard!"
• "{*with Mario*} Us?!"
• "I knew I wasn't gonna like this!"
• "Let's go!"
• "Trippin' tortellini!"

Live-action segments

Neatness Counts

• "That's right, Mario! And by the way, you have a little piece of spaghetti...on your overalls."
• "Really? Your shoes are dirty."
• "You've got five cavities."
• "I didn't say 'hello'."
• "Sure are! Whoa! You're Nicole Eggert! We watch your show all the time! Mario and I are your biggest fans!"
• "Sure! Come on in!"
• "Yes, Nicole! That is absolutely true! Not only that, but we are also very very neat and clean. In fact, what do we always say, Mario?"
• "No no... Neatness counts!"
• "(with Mario) Uh-oh!"
• "Oh, Nicole! I'm so sorry! This has never...EVER happened before!"
• "No! Oh no! No! No sitting! Why don't you come up here, and-and-and-and stay by the furnace? It's nice and warm. It'll dry you off. I'll move the cake."
• "Oh... Oh, Nicole, this is terrible! Come over here!"
• "This is terrible! Come over here. Oh, guys, this is terrible! Oh, have a seat."
• "Oh, stand over here. I'll get the chair cleaned."
• "Yeah, but somehow on her, it looks good."
• "What are you looking for?"
• "Lint brush? Any more good ideas?"
• "Oh please, Nicole! We'll do all our plumbing for free!"
• "Yeah, we'll wash your clothes!"
• "Yeah!"
• "(with Mario) Really?"
• "Well, in that case..."
• "Till next time, everybody...(with Mario and Nicole) Do the Mario!"

Day of the Orphan

• "Yo, Edison! Ho!"
• "Is there not a blackout in the Bronx you should take care of?"
• "I know, but we haven't got all day!"
• "That's it?"
• "After all that planning, that's your move?"
• "I finally got you, Edison!"
• "That's it!"
• "That's it!"
• "One of these days, I am going to get by now. I say checkmate! I say checkmate!"
• "Oh, sure! Just keep eating. I mean after all, let nothing bother that beautiful girlish figure of yours! I'm coming! I'm coming!"
• "Oh, hi, squirt! Who are you?"
• "Oh! What a sad story! Come in. Come in, sweetheart! Oh, please! Come in on our house!"
• "Listen, squirt, you don't happen to happen to have a name, do ya?"
• "Mario! Mario, come here! We have a guest! This is my brother Mario! Mario, this is Patty the sad-eyed orphan."
• "Awww... Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wipe away those tears, little one!"
• "Alright! Alright! Alright! Patty! Patty! We'll see what we can do."
• "We'll cover it."
• "This oughta do it! Beautiful!"
• "Yo, Mario. She's eh, kinda fresh for a sad-eyed orphan, isn't she?"
• "Mother and father? Forget about it! Patty said she was an orphan!"
• "Well, you know, it was supposed to be a birthday party, a surprise party for Patty. You know, the uh, little sad-eyed orphan who never had a birthday party before."
• "Aaaah, that's all right, Patty. Say, listen. We still got all the decorations up, right?"
• "Why don't we have a party, and celebrate a happy family reunion, huh?"
• "Alright! I love parties!"
• "Till the next time, everybody!"
• "(with Mario and Patty) Do the Mario!"

All Steamed Up

• "Alright..."
• "Alright..."
• "Alright!"
• "Ah, there we go! All the valves are tightened!"
• "Alright."
• "Whaddaya mean speakerphone?"
• "Mario Bros. Plumbing! You block 'em, we clear 'em!"
• "Okay, Sarge! We doing 'em!"
• "Stupid speakerphone!"
• "This guy's a goof!"
• "Alright! I'll go check on the pizza."
• "As I was, was pulling a pizza out of the oven!"
• "Why don'tcha come up to the kitchen? You can hardly hear it from here!"
• "Sounds good over here."
• "Ohhh, good! Ho! Good and hot!"
• "Anchovies, grapes, and cheez wiz!"
• "Boy, I wish Mario was around."
• "It just needs a bit more steam!"
• "Red zone, three, four!"
• "Red zone, three, four!"
• "Please, Sgt. Slaughter, can I just do five?"
• "Why I oughta... Kidding! Just...kidding!"
• "We'll be back in a little while!"
• "Legend of Zelda's exciting scenes!"
• "498...499...500."
• "How do ya figure that out, Sarge?"
• "Oh yeah, but that's getting even smaller, Sarge."
• "Double parked?"
• "I'm gonna kill that Mario running off like this. I'm so mad I'm ready to explode!"
• "Mario, stop kiddin' around and stand up!"
• "Mamma mia! What am I gonna tell mama? Look at you! For cryin' out loud!"
• "(with Mario and Sgt. Slaughter) Do the Mario!"

Marianne and Luigeena

• "Would you believe Lyle Alzado's comin' over here for lunch?"
• "You get it!"
• "No! Hang up!"
• "No!"
• "You numbskull! You rolypoly! You stunata! What's the matter with you tuning in, telling them Lyle Alzado's coming over? You know Luigeena and Marianne are nuts about this guy!"
• "Alright, okay, okay, okay, you forgot. Okay, look. The only thing we can do now is make sure that we keep them out of muscle-touching range. Alright?"
• "Alright, gimme the list."
• "Four dozen tangerines?"
• "You know what? Let's hope he doesn't show up early, but more important, let's hope our stupid cousins don't show up. Come on!"
• "Close the door, huh?"
• "Lyle! Hey, geez! You got here early, huh?"
• "Marianne, good to see you. Get lost."
• "Sure."
• "Lyle, I'm sorry! Mario and I went for refreshments. I got back as soon as I could!"
• "Yeah, no. Sorry about that!"
• "Oh, good idea, Marianne and while you're up there, check out Alaska!"
• "(*with Lyle Alzado*) Dancing?"
• "Yo, Mario. Marianne and Luigeena were all over this poor guy! I got here just in time!"
• "Phew! Lucky break, huh, Lyle?"
• "You're such a kidder, Lyle!"

Slime Busters

• "Back! Back, Mario! Get the cover ready! Back, you slimy thing!"
• "Is it ever!"
• "I got him! I got him! Don't worry about anything!"
• "He's got me!"
• "Well, the good news is, I ain't no drooling moronic zombie."
• "Okay? I ain't no drooling moronic zombie."
• "The bad news? We gotta buy a new pizza pan."
• "Till next time, everybody!"
• "(with Mario and Ernie) Do the Mario!"

The Mario Monster Mash

• "Yo! Mario! Why do you suppose our new neighbor wants us to help him with his latest experiment? I mean, who is this guy anyhow?"
• "You meatball. That's not Pennsylvania, that's Transylvania!"
• "So what? Okay... 'Frank N. Stein', say it fast."
• "Not that fast. A little slower, with me."
• "(*with Mario*) Frank N. Stein! Frank N. Stein! Frank N. Stein! Frank N. Stein! FRANKENSTEIN FROM TRANSYLVANIA!!!"
• "Are you...Dr. Frankenstein?"
• "Okay, Mario. I got him. ...I got him. I got him."
• "What're you doing, doc?"
• "Oh. Doc? You kiddin' me? In Brooklyn?"
• "Ooooh, scary! Something tells me we'd better be right back after these exciting scenes from The Legend of Zelda."
• "Now, doc. I mean, don't look so disappointed. We got a lot of people in Brooklyn. We've got pool players, we've got beautiful girls, we got restaurants, we got carpenters, plumbers, but normal? Heh-heh. Forget about it!"
• "Yo, Mario! I got everything you asked me for! I got macaroni, I got the beans, I even got you some cereal."
• "Mamma mia! Mario? Talk to me! What have you done to my brother? You've gotta get Mario's brain back! I mean, I know it's small, but he's all I got!"
• "Mario? Mario! Mario! Mario? Mario! Mario! That's it!"
• "Doc! Doc! You've gotta do something! You've gotta help me!"
• "Mario! Mario! I don't care what they say about your brain! I love all of it!"
• "Welcome back! Welcome back!"
• "Talk to me! Talk to me!"
• "That's the best Mario I love! Keep talking! Keep talking! I love you, Mario."
• "(with Mario) Do the Mario!"

Bonkers from Yonkers

• "Okay, it's goin' to go right here. Hold this."
• "It's in...yes!"
• "Aww, no! Okay, gimme a wrench! Mario! Mar- Mario! Mario! Mario! Talk to me! Talk- Ohohoh! Come on. Come on. Alright. Al- Okay! Okay! You're okay! You're gonna be...gonna be..."
• "Alright. Sit down. Sit down, brother. Sit down. It'll be alright. Okay. Lie down! Don't go anywhere! Oh, geez..."
• "There it is...hairy...happy...harry...head!"
• "Take it easy! I've got help on the way!"
• "Hello? Hello? Is this Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake the noted head doctor? It is? Oh, good. Thanks! Look, my brother just hit himself on the head. Could you come right over? You can? Thanks a lot, doc!"
• "Great service!"
• "Thank you very much, doctor, but you see, this ugly hairy head is not the problem. It's my brother. He got hit in the head, and he thinks he is a bird!"
• "Really?"
• "Oh, good! Thanks, doctor! What a relief!"
• "But you said everything was okay!"
• "No no no no! Dr. Fruitcake, you must come back and see Mario!"
• "I know, but that's the problem!"
• "No, doc! Now my poor brother Mario thinks he's a monkey! Could you hold on a minute, doc?"
• "Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario, would you get down from there?"
• "No, no no! Not exactly, doc. I'd sorta like him being back to being a chicken!"
• "Well, to be honest with you, we could use the eggs!"
• "Thanks anyway, doc."
• "Bonzo and I will be right back! Here. Have a banana and watch some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda."
• "Excuse me, doc, but I've got a Rhode Island Red named Cheetah for a brother, and you're making with the jokes!"
• "(with Mario) Do the Mario!"

Bats in the Basement

• "Yo! What should we do now?"
• "Yo! That was some tough job!"
• "Hey! It's gonna be fun havin' an exchange student here, no?"
• "Whaddaya mean 'smart one'? How do you know that?"
• "Whoa! Some luggage!"
• "No kiddin'. Ohhhh... Hey, wait a minute! There's a note here!"
• "Lemme see... 'To the Mario Bros...' Ehhhh... '...from Transylvania. Please open as soon as possible. It's stuffy in here!'"
• "Whoa! Transylvania? Forget about it! This is our exchange student, that Count Zoltan Dracula! Come on, Mario! Help me open this thing!"
• "Alright! Give it a push! Give it a bang! Come on! Get it... I got it! No, I don't got it!"
• "I got it! I got it! No, I don't got it!"
• "Hey, Mario. I'mma tell you the truth. I hate these childproof boxes."
• "I got it! I-I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!"
• "Did you order a dead guy in a tuxedo?"
• "Mario, forget about it! There's something strange about this guy!"
• "Yo, Mario! I'm tellin' you, there's somethin' very strange about this Zoltan guy, huh? Now, last week, this guy tells me he's been goin' to night school for over 300 years!"
• "You're right!"
• "So do you, unless of course there's an Inspector Gadget marathon on TV!"
• "Hey, Mario. Find out who this guy's cleaner is, huh?"
• "I don't ever wanna go there. Sheesh... Look at these bills, eh! Bills and more bills, eh! $300 from a blood bank...$42 for eyewash for those big red eyes...and $32 for dental floss for them big teeth."
• "Blood bank?"
• "Dental floss?"
• "(*with Mario*) He's a vampire!!!"
• "Vampire! Alright, alright, alright! Mario, it's alright! I'm scared! I'll take care of you... Don't worry."
• "kay! Let's see what we got! Wait, here's Chapter 1! 'Drive a steak through his heart."
• "You're right."
• "Here we go, Chapter 2. 'Take a pot filled with water, boil for two hours, add a little olive oil, slowly add basil, a pinch of oregano, two cloves of garlic-'"
• "I knew it. She's been tryin' to kill us for years!"
• "Aha! 'If all else fails, send the vampire to the grocery store for some bread. While he's gone, you move.'"
• "Yeah!"
• "Where does it say that?"
• "Till next time, everybody! (with Mario and Count Zoltan Dracula) Do the Mario!"

Will the Real Elvis Please Shut Up!

• " ♪ Since my pipers left me, I found a new sewer to dwell... A septic tank in Brooklyn town, a plumber's hotel... You made me so lonely, baby! ♪ "
• "Eh? C'mon, Mario! Yo, what do you think of my Elvis impression, eh?"
• "Oh, thank you very much."
• "Insult to the Memory of the King, eh? What are you doing with my velvet Elvis, eh?"
• "Nothing doin', Mario! I'm the best Elvis!"
• "Forget about it, Mario! I'm the King!"
• "Who?"
• "Right. We're ready, Elvis."
• "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!"
• "Whoa! Whoa, wait a minute, Elvis. I hate catfish."
• "Yo! Now you're talkin'!"
• "I got it... Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
• "Thank you!"
• "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!"
• "Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
• "Ohhhh, yeah!"
• "Yo, King! This has been like a dream come true!"
• "Aw, you're right, Mario. I've been thinkin' about that. It's kinda like the Civil War. Brother against brother. It will break Mama's heart, you're right."
• "Alright, King."
• "♪ Though we copycat the King! ♪"
• "(with Mario) ♪ We're Marios to the end, yo! ♪"
• "(with Elvis and Mario) Do the Mario!"

Magic's Magic

• "Look at that! Whoa! He gets it with his toes!"
• "Get outta here... Alright! And is yet! Here we go! Look out! Comin'-"
• "Hey!"
• "Hooray! Alright! Nice assist, Edison!"
• "Hey, Mario. I wonder when Magic Johnson is gonna show up? You know what, I can't believe that he's gonna come here and practice with us!"
• "You're right... Actually cool, Edison."
• "Yay, match! We're comin'!"
• "Hey, Magic Johnson! How you doin', man?"
• "Really? Well, I mean, come to think of it, you wouldn't wanna practice basketball, would ya?"
• "Okay! Come on, lads! Let's see your stuff!"
• "Got it! Ball going on the table!"
• "But where's our ball?"
• "Hey, watch it!"
• "Hey, Mario! Whatever you do, don't let him see our bowling ball."
• "Alright, sure. Tha-that- It's alright, Magic."
• "Aah, come on, Magic! You can do it! I hope..."
• "Really? Out of this hat? Well, uh...here goes."
• "Hey! Yo! Hey, I did it! Mag, you did it! You did it!"
• "Bad, Mario! I thought something bad was gonna haaaaaapeeen!"
• "Stuck in the bowling ball!"
• "Thanks a lot, Mario!"
• "MARIOOOOO!!!"
• "I don't know, but what a strange place that was! I mean, I was in this...dance space pool! Floating basketballs, and nursing shoes!"
• "Yeah!"
• "Will you quit shoving to start the NBA with the elbow's head?"
• "Get the phone, Mario!"
• "Ah, see ya soon, Magic!"
• "Wait, one of those places... Basketballs, and nursing shoes, and a big bunny! A big bunny!"
• "Everybody, Do the Mario!"

Mama Mia Mario

• "Yo! You gonna eat that entire pepperoni pizza?"
• "Grazie, Mario!"
• "Hey! Is this not the life? I mean, we're our own men, and there's no one to tell us to clean up this pigsty, or eat our leafy green vegetables, or sit up straight, or answer the phone..."
• "Don't worry about a thing. Mario, I saw it here a couple of days ago! Geez...I don't remember ordering a pizza with green mold."
• "Mario Bros. Plumbing! You clog 'em, we clear 'em! Yeah. No! Yeah, but- No, but- My-"
• "Buddy! Of course! Shhh! Okay! Bye!"
• "No, it wasn't!"
• "It's worse! It's Mama, and she's comin' over!"
• "Yeah? Well, don't sit there! Come on! Come on! Come on! Let's go! Hurry up!"
• "{*with Mario*} Coming, Mama!"
• "Take it out! Take it out!"
• "Mama!"
• "I'm sorry, ma!"
• "I came as fast as I could!"
• "I didn't!"
• "Ma! Okay, ma!"
• "I do, ma!"
• "Yes, Mama."
• "Yo, Mario. It could be worse."
• "It could be Aunt Luigeena!"
• "(with Mario) Yes, Mama!"
• "If Mama lets us..."
• "Oooh, I love this show!"
• "Give our love to Papa, OK?"
• "Whew! She's gone!"
• "Hey, when we're lucky, you're lucky!"
• "Oh, Mario! This is the life! Beautiful! Nothing can go wrong now!"
• "Uh-oh! Don't answer it! That could be Mama, and she's gonna be mad, Mario, cause I faked the call about her winning the lottery!"
• "Do me a favor. You square it with Ma. I'm gonna run and get a winning lottery ticket, alright?"

Alligator Dundee

• "Yo, Mario! This is the third time this thing's been in here! Last time, it was a Plumber Slinky!"
• "A pludaris? Geez, Mario. You really know your stuff, boy."
• "Poor guy."
• "You scared us! You're uh... You're uh..."
• "Right here?"
• "Hey! Mr. Dundee, is there anything else we can do to help?"
• "Right. Alli, I got one question for you."
• "Are you outta your mind?"
• "Oh, sure. Look. What does this monster look like?"
• "Hey! What's the Ratagator doing with that bloodthirsty beast?"
• "I know! I'm thinking! I'm thinking!"
• "Yo, Alligator! What are you doin' with that big letter opener?"
• "I guess that answers our question."
• "Right."
• "Alright... Good luck!"
• "There you go!"
• "He must be the creature Ratagator was followed by! In the darkness, Ratagator thought that Alligator Dundee was a monster!"
• "Now, Mario! Okay, we got him! We got him! Alright, we've got you, you dirty rat!"
• "Right! We finally figured that you were trying to capture our pet! It's known as a Ratagator!"
• "We're sorry. Alright. Come on, get up."
• "Alright, we got you. We got ya!"
• "Oh! Not bad. Not bad."
• "I'll bet."
• "So long!"
• "Really? To what?"
• "Oh, Ratagator!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (with Mario) Do the Mario!"

Dance

• "I'm not peeking!"
• "I'm not peeking!"
• "Oooohohoh!"
• "Mario, you're the best brother a brother could ever have!"
• "Whoa! 'Happy Birthday, Luigi!' Wow! 'This certificate does hereby entitle Luigi Mario to a free dance lesson from Shabba-Doo! Happy Birthday! Love, Mario.'"
• "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! A dance lesson from Shabba-Doo! It's what I always wanted! And just in time for the Annual Plumbers' Dance!"
• "Oh no no! Forget about it, Mario!"
• "No, we can't! We're not ready! We're not ready for tomorrow! We gotta warm up first!"
• "Sure!"
• "Spin! Ya ready?"
• "Here we go!"
• "Alright, Shabba-Doo!"
• "I don't believe this! I don't believe this! Shabba-Doo! I mean, you're my favorite! You were terrific in those hip movies, Electric Boogaloo and Breakin'!"
• "Are you really here to give us a dance lesson?"
• "Boy! Are you really here to introduce us to some fabulous break-dancing babes?"
• "C'mon! We're getting it now, boy!"
• "One, two, three, four! One! We did it! Yo, we did it, Mario! We did it, Mario! Yay! Shabba-Doo! Alright!"
• "We couldn't have done it without you, Shabba-Doo! Now, come on! It is time for you to do your stuff for us!"
• "C'mon, Shabba-Doo!"
• "Get it, Shabba-Doo!"
• "Alright!"
• "(with Mario) Do the Mario!"

Cher's Poochie

• "Yo, Mario! Someone's at the door!"
• "Oh, for crying out loud! Will you do me a favor? Will you shut this racket off? Who could hear anything?"
• "Oh, very funny."
• "Heheh... Funny, funny, funny..."
• "It's Cher! Wow, that awkward kid with the braids and the braces has really grown, huh? Hi, Cher!"
• "Ah, are you kiddin'? For you, Cher! No charge!"
• "Hold her. Yo, hey, Cher! Can I get your autograph?"
• "Yo! Mario! Look at this! I got Cher's autograph, right here, on the mozzarella!"
• "Mario, what are you doing?"
• "Did you hear what I heard?"
• "Oh no! I hope the dog catchers are taking the day off today!"
• "Geez, stick with me, big brother. I'll get your body back, such as it is."
• "Oh really? Scratch your own head. And I'm not gonna rub your belly, either. Yeah, you can do that all you want. Oh, hiya, Cher!"
• "Oh, I'm doin' great."
• "Down, down, down, boy! Down! Cher."
• "Mario says, 'Watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda, and please...send your steak bones! Good boy! Good boy!"
• "Look, uh...Poochie...I-I mean, Mario. I mean you without the fur, or whoever you are, I know you wanna go out, but first I've gotta get you fixed!"
• "Okay! Hold it! Hold it! Bad choice of words! Wait a minute! I mean transform! And I've gotta transform you quickly, before Cher wakes up and we end up into the doghouse!"
• "Oh yeah? Well, pretty soon, Mario's gonna need a flea dip. Alright, here we go."
• "Oh, Mario! Mario! It's so good to have you back to normal! Are you okay?"
• "Here we go again with that uh oh stuff!"
• "(with Mario) Uh oh!"
• "Good girl, good dog."
• "Move! Move! Paw! Paw! Paw! Paw!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Cher*) Do the Mario!"

Wild Thing

• "Edison! Yo, come out! Ho!"
• "Is it done yet?"
• "Thanks, Edison!"
• "What'd you get from the library?"
• "I got 'My Plumber, Myself'. Sounds good, eh?"
• "But quieter!"
• "We?"
• "Mario, I don't think this is the best music to read life."
• "Mario?"
• "What hamburger?"
• "Oh... No thanks, Marilyn! We got something to do, sweetheart!"
• "Yo! Mario! Mario! Say exactly that my idea of a relaxing weekend. I mean, she's (unintelligible)! Someone's gotta tell him! Go ahead!"
• "Alright, I'll tell you what. We draw noodles, whoever gets the smallest noodle tells her. Fair?"
• "Okay!"
• "Here we go! Three noodles! You're watching me?"
• "Okay? They're all the same way?"
• "I'll make 'em all the same way. Alright? Three noodles, I'll make one the small one!"
• "Okay? Too noodles small! Close your eyes! Close your eyes! Gonna mix 'em up! Mixing 'em up! Mixing them up! Okay! Pick a noodle! Any noodle! No no no no! Pick your noodle, any noodle! Would you pick a noodle, any noodle?! TAKE A NOODLE!"
• "Out of all made me born lucky! I'm kiddin', I love you!"
• "Yo! Marilyn! You're leavin'?"
• "The beach? Wouldn't wanna, Marilyn. There's no beach in Brooklyn."
• "Have a nice trip! Bye, kids!"
• "Yeah, but that does sound crazy! Now for a good book!"
• "{*with Mario*} EDISON!!!"
• "{*with Mario*} Do the Mario!"

E.C. The Extra Creepy

• "Where are we goin' tonight?"
• "Computer date? Is that what this is all about? (whistles) What a file. 'Luxuriant body hair, bulging muscles, can benchpress 500 pounds.' Mario, what kind of a woman is this?"
• "Rambo Bubble Gum card... 'Out-of-this-world girl with head in the clouds, loves to travel'. Madone, Mario! This girl sounds like a 7-4-7!"
• "Really? It feels like she's drivin' an 18-wheeler."
• "I will, I will, I will! I feel sorry for her."
• "Wow! That's what I call a computer date!"
• "Yo, Mario. I gotta tell you something's not right."
• "What's the problem? We got two problems. Number 1: I go outside, check her car...no license plates! Number 2: You know Mrs. Schwechner upstairs? She come down, touched the fender of her car, bida-bing-bada-bang-bada-boom! Turned into dust!"
• "Geez..."
• "Oh yeah. She's real special, Mario. She's snacking on a wrench!"
• "You're in love?"
• "Mario, you're in love with a night light."
• "Where are you going?"
• "Where are you, Mario? Why aren't you home yet? Whoa! I hope Mario's not up there!"
• "That's them now!"
• "Wait a minute! Tell me you didn't marry her, Mario!"
• "Wait a minute! Mario! This is not a computer date! You're dating a computer!"
• "Yeah!"
• "(*with Mario*) Do the Mario!"

The Marios Fight Back

• "You better believe it."
• "Hey!"
• "Nothing to it!"
• "You got it!"
• "Watch our smoke, David! Watch this!"
• "Stillson...wrench!"
• "Go get it, brother!"
• "Monkey...wrench!"
• "Every move's a picture! Nothing better!"
• "Mario Brothers Clog...Cleaner!"
• "Yo, David! We are professionals!"
• "Remember, kids, do not try this at home alone by yourself unless, you use a net!"
• "Rag!"
• "Uh oh?"
• "(*with Mario*) Uh oh!"
• "I know. And worse than that, Mario, the sink is still clogged. Oh, jeez! What are we goin' to do? I mean, we could lose our whole business! Wait a minute. I got an idea!"
• "How about we use this, huh?"
• "I know, Mario, but we're desperate! I mean, we've got to unclog this sink before David wakes up or else we're finished! Besides, it says right here, 'All-Purpose Plant Food'."
• "Let's give it a shot!"
• "That oughta do it!"
• "Come on! Let's get outta here!"
• "What do you want, a pizza?"
• "Mario, I don't know about that plant food that we used... Maybe it was a good idea, maybe it was a bad idea, but I'll tell you the truth, the three minutes are almost up, no?"
• "I don't know!"
• "Microphone? The cleaner? Lemme look here."
• "Where are you?"
• "Yo, Mr. Horowitz!"
• "Yo, Dave!"
• "Mr. Horowitz!"
• "Of course."
• "No kiddin'!"
• "{*with Mario*} That clog is history!"
• "Mario, I heard your stomach growl!"
• "It's not my stomach."
• "Uh oh?"
• "{*with Mario*} Uh oh!"
• "Till next time, everybody! {*with Mario and David Horowitz*} Do the Mario!"

Magician

• "Look at this! Harry Blackstone Jr. wrote back to me! Listen to this! 'Dear Luigi, thanks for your support. It's great to have fans like you. If I'm ever passing through your neighborhood, I'll stop by to say hello. Magically yours, the king of illusion, Blackstone.' Wow, Mario! Could you imagine that? Wouldn't it be neat if Blackstone came here?"
• "Blackston! Whoa! Wow! Great to see you!"
• "I'm terrific!"
• "I...tell you, not so good, Blackstone. You know, I'm having trouble; a lot of trouble with that eh, disappearing object trick."
• "You would do that for me?"
• "Wow! Mario! Can I borrow the ball?"
• "Thanks!"
• "Thanks. Okay. Now, I cover the ball, and I say the magic words, and the basketball will...will vanish. Here we go!"
• "Ooshy wooshy... goose goose goose... Basketball will now...vamoose!"
• "Oh. Gooshy wooshy...moose moose moose... Basketball will now, vamoose!"
• "I did it!"
• "Gotcha, Blackstone!"
• "Mario! I can now make things disappear! Whew! By the way, I'm sorry about your ball."
• "Mario, watch this! You're not going to believe this! Forget about this trick! Are you ready?"
• "Watch this now. Gooshy wooshy, moose moose moose...bowl of oranges, now...vamoose! YES! Whoa, am I happy Blackstone taught me the magic words! This is fun!"
• "Oh yeah? Well, lemme ask you something. Who died, and left you boss? How about if I make you disappear, eh?"
• "You wanna s- Ohohohohoho! You asked for it, Mr. Tough Guy! You sure?"
• "What army? I'll show you what army! Don't be scared! You ready? Gooshy wooshy, moose moose moose...Mario, will now...vamoose!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "Oh, I'll tell you the truth, Mario. I never bothered to learn how to make things eh, come back."
• "Ow! Wait! Come on!"
• "Will you just calm down and watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda? Ow! He's such a bad sport."
• "Mr. Blackstone, you gotta help me. I need help! I made Mario disappear!"
• "Okay!"
• "Ping ping pear!"
• "Wing wing wear!"
• "Make old Mario..."
• "Rea-pair?"
• "Please!"
• "Oh! Mario! Are you alright?"
• "Oh yeah, I sure have, Blackstone! I mean, it really hurts when an invisible brother has a mean left hook!"
• "Till next time, everybody! {*with Mario and Harry Blackstone Jr.*} Do the Mario!"

Do You Believe in Magic?

• "Nothing like shaving, my...favorite mug, heheh...whilst using my favorite shaving mug...whilst preparing my favorite spaghetti sauce!"
• "Mario? Mario, I've asked you a hundred times, please do not jumprope in the apartment with your boots on. ...Mario? Yo!"
• "Aw geez. I forgot! Mario went to the store! Oh boy..."
• "Magic! Magic Johnson! How you doing?"
• "Are you kiddin' me? I can fix that faster than your fast break!"
• "Alright, Mag! See ya later!"
• "Magic Johnson. Whohohohoa! Finally! A big time repair job! I must have a trophy repair manual...somewhere... It's somewhere. I'll find it."
• "Well, not now it don't, ya meatball! Would you hurry up? Magic is gonna slam dunk me or sure! Come on, Mario, come on!"
• "Alright!"
• "Oh! Oh! Oh! Mario! He's back!"
• "Alright. Do it good though!"
• "I-i-it won't be long now, Magic!"
• "One more! Over there!"
• "I know! Show him some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda! He'll love it!"
• "I remember exactly what the trophy looked like. Ah! All done!"
• "Okay, Mag! We're comin'! We got it!"
• "Wait till you see this!"
• "Here you go, big guy! Good as new!"
• "Oh no! Look, Mag. I can't lie anymore. Something happened to your trophy."
• "Yeah! Why don't you have a little spaghetti sauce? It'll help relax ya! Hold on a minute. I'll get it."
• "You're right. We're kidding."
• "Yeah, just a little magic of our own!"
• "Oh, hey! No charge for you, Mag!"
• "Well, gotta finish my shaving. Where's uh, my favorite shaving mug?"
• "Uh oh?"
• "My shaving mug?"
• "{*with Mario*} Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Mommies Curse

• "Mario? Go make your Mama's meatball in the uh, zucchini recipe here!"
• "Will have to know this, search uh, two or 28, would ya?"
• "Hey look, I can't do that, Mario! This recipe requires split-second timing. Would you be a person and read it to me, please?"
• "Thank you very much."
• "Alright."
• "Now what?"
• "♪ The rain, in Spain, stays mainly, on the plain! ♪ (x4)"
• "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm cured!"
• "Alright!"
• "{*with Elvira*} Uh oh!"
• "{*with Mario*} Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Lost Dog

• "Ridiculous? I sound ridiculous? Hehehe! You and your goofy Chipmunk Imitations! Now that's ridiculous! Oh, come on, Mario! Well, gimmee a break! I'm practicing for my Birdie Lovers meeting!"
• "Yeah! Why are you crying?"
• "No, no. I don't think so, Pam."
• "Were his ears cut short?"
• "Uh, no. We haven't seen him, Pam."
• "Whoa whoa whoa! Wait wait wait! Don't worry, Pam! We'll help you find your little wayward pooch!"
• "Oh yeah, here. Go ahead here. Dry your eyes."
• "Pam, what's the matter, is your pizza cold?"
• "There there, Pammy!"
• "Oh, take it easy!"
• "The phone! I'll be right back!"
• "Mario Brothers Plumbing! You clog 'em, we clear 'em!"
• "Ooooh, gee. No, no, no, Reilly! I didn't forget about the Birdie Lover's Club meeting this weekend! OK, thanks. Thanks for calling! Of course! I'll see you there!"
• "Gee... Dog calls... I wonder?"
• "Calm down, are you lookin' for a snack?"
• "Here are some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "Well, I'll tell you what, Pammy. I mean, according to Hanson's Guide to Doggy Dialogue, it says here that I will be replicating the precise barking pattern of the canine in question. See that?"
• "Well, I'm gonna do that too. Now, if this works, Pam, Ike will be here faster than pigeons to popcorn, eh?"
• "You got it! Alright, stand back, gimme a little room... First, I'd like to present what I call, the chiuaua!"
• "Hold up. A little something on my throat. I'm just startin'. I got it now. I got it now. Next, I'm gonna do what we call, your lhasa apso!"
• "Hey, I don't know, Mario, but I'll give it a try. Alright, stand back! Here it is, my poodle basset combo!"
• "Aww, it was really nothing! Always a pleasure to do something for a girl like you, Pam!"
• "Look at all those dogs! Hey! I guess I'm a better dog caller than I realized!"
• "Uh oh?"
• "Till next time, everybody! {*with Mario and Pam Matteson*} Do the Mario!"

Plumbers of the Year

• "Yeah... That oughta do it! Just wrap this around here..."
• "You're not kiddin'."
• "Could that... Is it...?"
• "Yes it is, your Extremely Rolypoliness!"
• "Oh boy!"
• "Oh! We'll unclog drains both day and night! Stuffed up toilets cause no fright! We'll stop all drips within the hour, restore hot water, for you to shower!"
• "Oh Great Imperial Shortness, to what do we owe our eternal gratitude for your great presence here?"
• "Us?! Plumbers of the Year?!"
• "Not only that; it's an honor and a half!"
• "Oh, no problem, your extreme cleanliness!"
• "(*with Mario*) Now?!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "(*with Mario and Imperial Poobah*) Uh oh!"
• "Oh no, your Extreme Waterfulness! It's just a trickle!"
• "Oh! Oh no! I can fix that in a minute! Watch this!"
• "It's no good! The pipe strands are stripped!"
• "Yeah, well don't panic! Mario! Get the leftover pizza!"
• "Hurry up! Hurry up!"
• "There we go!"
• "You are the Poobiest!"
• "Till next time, everybody! {*with Mario and Imperial Poobah*} Do the Mario!"

Mario Hillbillies

• "Yo! Mario! Come on! If we don't start fishing right now, we're never gonna get home in time for Plumber's...Hoedown tonight!"
• "Hey! Did you remember the bait?"
• "Ugh! This is disgusting!"
• "Good idea."
• "Alright. C'mon, Mario. Let's go. Let's hit the road. You carry...the wonderful disgusting mess... C'mon, the fish are waiting."
• "I can't wait!"
• "What a day! I mean, this was great!"
• "Sheesh, I loved it."
• "We would've got a heck of a lot more if you hadn't eaten all the bait."
• "Hey, Mario! All I know is, that I am ready, to shake it up at the Plumber's Hoedown tonight! All the prettiest girls in Brooklyn are gonna be there!"
• "Well, I'll tell you the truth. It's just as well. I mean, Mario, if they had been here, we would have to take 'em with us to the dance tonight. And with those hick cousins of ours, we'd never have a chance to get any of the pretty girls!"
• "Whatever."

Super Plant

• "Makes me sick with grief! Who's gonna call Mama, and tell her that her basil bush is dying?"
• "Come in!"
• "Who are you and how can we help you?"
• "Wow! Thanks, doc!"
• "Okay! Instructions... 'Prepare surface, and apply a small amount-'"
• "Will you cut the chit-chat and ask him?!"
• "Okay. Let me go, please! Next!"
• "I can lighten up... Okay! Coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie! Next!"
• "Okay! Ah, your mother's a salad, and your breath smells like cabbage! Forget it!"
• "Dancing?! Forget it!"
• "What's the doc trying to say now?"
• "Run?"
• "RUUUUUUN!!!"
• "I know! Let's show some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "Mario, are you sure the doctor's coming?"
• "Doc? Doc? Could you admire your stupid work later?"
• "Be careful, Mario! Be careful!"
• "Doc! Don't worry! Don't get any on Mario! He could stand some shrinkage!"
• "Mario! Take it easy! Don't hurt yourself! Mario! Mario, are you OK?"
• "Oh yeah, Mario. I mean, he was shaking like a leaf!"
• "No! No, thank you very much, Doc! We had an apple on the train."
• "Wow! What a miracle! Mama will be happy! Mama will be happy! Nice!"
• "Till next time, everybody!"
• "{*with Mario and Dr. Toby*} Do the Mario!"

Fred Van Winkle

• "Eh, I got it claimed perfectly! ...Good!"
• "(with Mario) Who said that?"
• "That's talk from the old days! I mean he wants to get outta here, find some pretty girls, and go dancing with 'em!"
• "I don't think so. Nice!"
• "Scuse me. Mister. Eh, just...when did you fall asleep in there?"
• "Last night? You, err, don't happen to know what year it is, do you?"
• "Hi! I'm-I'm Luigi! This is my brother Mario!"
• "Fred Van Winkle, huh? Nice beard!"
• "And thanks to modern science, we now have things like portable computers and food proccessing and-and video games. We even have indoor plumbing!"
• "She's very shy."
• "Oh! That's my brother uhhh, my brother's idea of uh, plumbing."
• "Yeah! Hey hey hey hey! Keep talking! Keep trying, Fred. M-Mario! Can I see you for a minute, please?"
• "What is- What is with the jokes?"
• "We gotta educate him! He's gonna have enough trouble adjusting to modern life as it is, without you making dumb jokes about phone lines to the Martians."
• "Of course!"
• "I told you so!"
• "Yo! Mario! Forget about it! Can't you see your clothes are too big for him?"
• "Fred! C'mon! We're on our way! We're gonna take you on a subway ride..."
• "Oh, sure! And then after that, we're gonna take you right into New York. You're gonna see changes you can't believe."
• "Oh, sure! Then we're gonna go to the museum, then we're gonna see the Statue of Liberty, the Stanton Island ferry... After the Stanton Island ferry, we're coming back and-"
• "Oh, Fred! Fred! Would you like to leave a wake-up call?"
• "1997?"
• "{*with Mario and Fred Van Winkle*} Do the Mario!"

Baby Mario Love

• "Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Watch your language! There are reptiles present! Besides which, what are you worried about? You never know when glamour's gonna knock at your door."
• "Huh? The queen of glitz and glamour herself, Susanna Ross!"
• "Susanna, I'm sorry! Hi! Hi!"
• "Sure!"
• "I feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame here, Susanna!"
• "Oh, I do? Alright!"
• "No you don't, you meatball!"
• "Really? I think we look pretty nifty!"
• "Okay! You got it! I'm ready!"
• "Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Ho! Allow me!"
• "Okay...alright? You alright? Okay! Watch your hair! Watch your dress! You look beautiful!"
• "Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!"
• "I'm sorry, Susanna. This is not gonna work out! This dress...it's just the wrong color. I'm sorry."
• "Thanks, Mario!"
• "It'll never work! Look at that! It clashes with my legs."
• "Till next time everybody! (*with Mario and Susanna Ross*) Do the Mario!"

9001: A Mario Odyssey

• "Yo, is it about ready, Mr. Einstein?"
• "Yo, uh... Al, I feel uh, kinda stupid talking to a machine, you know?"
• "Thank you, Albert."
• "Yo, Al! I mean, is there anything else we need to know?"
• "Right! Bye!"
• "Bye!"
• "You're right! Watch this! Yo, Hal! I'd like a sausage pizza, and no anchovies or fried eggs."
• "Yo! Is science not amazing?"
• "Yo! Mario! There's our hamburger pizza!"
• "Forget it! Come on! What's the matter with you? Golf pencil pizza? It's worse than pineapple! HAL! Make us a baloney pizza, please!"
• "No, of course not! HAL, we did not ask for a nurse shoe pizza!"
• "Well, alright. Then just make us one simple baloney pizza, please?"
• "Would you forget about it? HAL's goin' nuts! I'm gonna tell you one thing, Mario. I'll give this machine one good shot if I wasn't afraid of the tilt!"
• "Come on, boy! How much is one and one? Good dog!"
• "It's no use, Mario! We're just gonna have to pull HAL's plug!"
• "Alright!"
• "(*with Mario*) Yes, HAL! We're under your spell!"
• "Whoa! What happened? Did we fall asleep?"
• "Mario... Would you stop it?"
• "Until next time, everybody! {*with Mario and Einstein*} Do the Mario!"

Fake Bro

• "Wrench!"
• "Screwdriver!"
• "Rag! Ooh! Sorry, Clog! Rag!"
• "Stranger! Str-stranger?!"
• "How come Mama never told us about you? I mean, I would think she would've mentioned something!'"'
• "Hey! Not so fast, eh? Yo, Pietro! What's Mama's maiden name?"
• "Alright? What's the shape of the birthmark on Mario's left knee?"
• "Right, so uh, why don't you take a look at these scenes from the next...Legend of Zelda! It's under 'L' I think, huh?"
• "Are you kiddin' me? Forget about it! Who does this guy think he is selling our business? This is our business!"
• "Yeah? That's what he says! But, Mario, I'll tell ya one thing! Me? I'm calling Mama!"
• "Mario Brothers Plumbing! Yyyyyyou clog 'em, we clear 'em! Huh? What? IRS? What do you mean we owe $900,000 in back taxes? Are you crazy? This is a family business, there's only three of us here! 900,000?! That means we owe three into 900,000! Three into-"
• "Ciao! Arrivederci!"
• "Will you take it easy? We don't owe nothing! You know when I was on the phone? The pizza parlor! Our pizza's ready!"
• "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! What I mean is that I just out-wised the wise guy, that's all!"
• "Mario? Come on! You know what? We're gonna go to the pizza parlor, and I'm gonna split that pizza with you, even right down the middle 70/30, 70 for me, 30 for you!"
• "Mario, that's why I love you! *gives Mario a kiss on the cheek as they hug* Come on! Guess what I got?"
• "(*with Mario and Pietro*) Do the Mario!"

Time Out Luigi

• "Take that, you duck! And that! Oh, yeah, ya wise guy? Ya mess around with Quick Draw Luigi? Behind the back? Yah-ho! Under the legs? Ye-hey! Behind the ear? I think I zapped my ear off! Wha-ha- Hi! Can I help you?"
• "Wow!"
• "Wow! How much?"
• "Will you forget about it?"
• "Ooh! A wristwatch! Is it waterproof, shock-resistant, and self-winding?"
• "Well...looks OK to me! How much?"
• "Ten bucks for strange and mysterious? I'll give ya five!"
• "How about four?"
• "Oh, don't worry, lady! I sleep pretty good! Here ya go! Four bucks!"
• "Wow! What a bargain! Four bucks!"
• "Backwards? ...What are you laughin' at?"
• "Mario, silly don't be! Better felt never I've!"
• "Deaf are you, what? Fine I'm said I!"
• "Not course of! Fiddle as fit am I! Room the around jog I'll, you would prove to judge!"
• "Now got it I've! Eh-huh! Eh-huh! Hey!"
• "Zelda of Legend, next to from scenes send me show have you!"
• "Whoa! What happened?"
• "Phew! Wow! I mean, will eating onions make me do things backward again?"
• "Backing away from me?"
• "(in reverse) (*with Mario and Angelica*) Mario the Do!"

Tutti Frutti, oh Mario/Tutti Frutti Mario

• "Yah?"
• "Can't hear ya! This-this noise comin' outta that vent here and it sounds like it's gonna explode!"
• "That noise! You wanna stuff it, Ratigator?"
• "I'm up, Clog, when you get to the chorus!"
• "It's not! Well, then it's probably the scarecrow!"
• "Good? Nah, he'll see this stuff. Ooh, I got it! Bread. They'll never see this. This'll be settled!"
• "I'm weaving a Navajo blanket! What do you mean 'What am I doing?' I'm hidin' the tape recorder under the bread! See? When I figure, if we could get Little Robert to sing with us, then we can run the table! We gotta collect this item!"
• "You condimental? Well, use your brain! What the matter with you? Gah! I've never seen this-"
• "Go! Go! That's it! C'mon! Get on with this! Go!"
• "He's here to go slip in a musical skit."
• "Yo, Robert! Nice to meetcha!"
• "Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!"
• "Oh, sure! We're ready!"
• "(with Mario) ♪ Spumoni! ♪"
• "(with Mario) ♪ Otomi! ♪"
• "We're ready!"
• "Ready!"
• "(with Mario) ♪ Oh, Mario! ♪"
• "(with Mario) ♪ Oh, Mario! ♪"
• "(with Mario) ♪ Oh, Mario! ♪"
• "But, Little Robert, tha-tha-that's just what we need! Putting on tips? The new point is to help us out!"
• "Nice for comin' over, Little Robert!"
• "Wow! Where's that tape recorder? I can hardly wait to see what we got on tape!"
• "You serious? Oh, Ratigator!"
• "(*with Mario and Little Robert*) Do the Mario!"

Flower Power

• "Yo?"
• "Not now, Mario! Can't you see I'm busy?"
• "Alright, alright! Watch it! Okay! Let me try!"
• "Mario, this sauce...is the best I ever tasted!"
• "What secret ingredient?"
• "Seeds? What's so special about seeds?"
• "Mario, I tell you the truth. Seeds, no seeds, this sauce...delicious!"
• "Uh oh?"
• "What do you mean 'uh oh?' What's wrong?!"
• "My neck?! What's wrong with my neck?! AAAAAHHHH!!!"
• "You're crazy! Look at my neck!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "Oh, really?"
• "Ow! Pain in the neck. Kidding! Kidding! Love this guy!"
• "I can't believe that you talked me into eating your stupid spaghetti sauce!"
• "Is not!"
• "Is not!"
• "Is not!"
• "Is-"
• "Oh boy! Lucky me! Is there a cure?"
• "Okay!"
• "What bright side?"
• "(with Mario and Young McDonald) Do the Mario!"

Vampire Until Ready

• "Yo! Are we gonna get rid of this bat or what? And where's that exterminator? When's he supposed to show up?"
• "That does it! I'm gonna get that rotten bat, if this is the last thing that I do!"
• "Yeah. Can we get him with something just a little bit softer?"
• "What're you talkin' about? He's right here on my head!"
• "Right. An old Brooklyn joke."
• "Oh! Oh, my nose!"
• "Right! I understand you're in bad need of a tan!"
• "Good idea! Go ahead!"
• "Oh! There it is! He's here!"
• "Mr. Exterminator! He's here!"
• "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't look at us like we're crazy, because I know he was here, and he knows he was here! Now just try to keep an open mind!"
• "Oh, right, sure! It's just through that door and down the hall."
• "Whoa! It's here again! Yo! Mr. Exterminator! Mr. Exterminator! He's here! Come in here! Hurry up!"
• "You've gotta be kidding!"
• "No kiddin'... Yo, Mario. I was just thinkin'. How come every time he's in the room, the bat's out of the room? He comes in the room, there's no bat. In the room, no bat, out of the room, there's a bat! Bat flying around, he goes out, we scream, he comes in, no bat-"
• "Do you see him? Is he here yet?"
• "I know, I know! But where is he? There he is! There he is! Come on! Come on! We've got him, Mario! Shhh! Shhh! Get on one side! We'll surround him!"
• "I got him! I got him! I got him! (stutters) I got him! I got him! I got him! I got him! I got him! I got him! I got him!"
• "Aha! Aha! I knew he was the bat!"
• "That's rough!"
• "Sure! I mean you wanna hang around with us? Anytime! As a matter of fact, if you want to, you can even go bowling with us!"
• "I've got something even better! Why don't we go down to the Blood Bank? There's a nurse there I'm sure is your type! Eh? Come on! Are you kiddin' me? Absolutely! We'll be friends!"
• "(*with Mario and the Exterminator*) Do the Mario!"

Heart Throb

• "Oh, yeah? Why don't you get a job? Whew! Mario, there's this mob of people in front of the shop and- You're a... You're a..."
• "You-You're the guy with the uh, with the...with the...with screaming!"
• "I can't believe it. I can't believe it! I mean, here I am, sitting with teenage heartthrob, Rob Stone eating pizza! The world is a strange and wacky place. I mean, forget about it! I can't wait till the guys at the bowling alley hear about this!"
• "Mario, this is Rob Stone!"
• "So? Say 'please!'"
• "Have mine! Have mine! Here, Robbie!"
• "Are you kidding me? Come on, Rob! Who's gonna suspect that you would dress up as a plumber? You're gonna slip through that crowd badda-bing, badda-bang, badda-boom, no problem! Hoho! Plus, I get to dress up in these fancy show-biz threads! I mean, you guys are looking at one hot plumber! Yo! Hehehe!"
• "Well, Rob! You know, now that you mention it though, maybe you could get us tickets for the next, eh, show? Or better than that, maybe you can invite us out to your Malibu pad for one of them Hollywood parties with your fancy friends, or maybe-"
• "Alright!"
• "Okay! Take care, Rob!"
• "Hey, Rob! I'll make that call first thing in the morning, alright?"
• "Whoa!"
• "I got Rob's guitar! How could you be a heartthrob without a guitar? It don't throb without a guitar! What's the matter with you? Yo, Rob!"
• "No, no! Wait a minute! You got the wrong guy! Hold it! Back off! Whoa! Yipe!"
• "Until next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Rob Stone*) Do the Mario!"

Fortune Teller

• "Hey! Yo! Mario! What's that?"
• "Sophia Loren?"
• "Anette Funicello?"
• "Madonna?"
• "...Scott Baio?"
• "You askin' me? What do I look like, a fortune teller?"
• "You're on the money, Mario. Come out, get up. Let's see what we got here. F... F, F, F. Okay."
• "Oh! Look at that! Look at that! Look at this ad for Madam AGoGo! It says, 'Mario and Luigi, call me right away to find out what you've won.' *whistle* Now, this lady is good! We're talkin' terrific! This is the lady we're calling!"
• "Madam AGoGo, are you bringing up the sprits?"
• "Okay? What's the first thing on your mind?"
• "(*with Mario*) Or? Or?"
• "(*with Mario*) Yes? Yes?"
• "Will we win a date with Sophia Loren, Anette Funicello, Madonna, or Scott Baio?"
• "Yes? Yes?"
• "Uh, no thanks, Madam AGoGo."
• "Right! Thanks, Madam AGoGo! You're a great help! Oh, thanks! Ciao! Ciao! Arrivederci!"
• "Go on! Hurry up!"
• "Uh oh?"
• "There you go again with that uh oh! What is it, Mario? Let me see what it is!"
• "Consolation prize: You will receive a date with the beautiful and mysterious Madam AGoGo."
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Madam AGoGo*) Do the Mario!"

The Magic Love

Note that the dialogue listed here has been translated from the German dub of the episode.

• "Hey! Mario! Do you have the apples to my pie? This will be the best pie I ever done!"
• "You're kiddin'. What's in that apple, then? A million dollars?"
• "Mario, my wonderful brother. You know a fool is born every minute, and you are one of them."
• "Mario! Mario, you'll never know!"
• "Huh?"
• "You're kiddin'? Is that Mad Donna?"
• "Oh, I will count every second!"
• "Of course. By the way, where are you going?"
• "Oh! She will like that. Mario? (unintelligible)"
• "Uh oh! Uh oh! Mario? Are you sure you're packing for a honeymoon with Mad Donna?"
• "Okay! Excuse me, lady. (untintelligible)"
• "Me? I don't think that is a good idea! Hey, Mario. May I present to you my fiancé, Mad Donna! I think you are right this time."
• "Until next time, everybody! {*with Mario and Mad Donna*} Do the Mario!"

Little Marios

• "What a fight! What a fight! Look at these guys! Look at the speed! Bing! Bang! Boom! Bang! Eh? That's fast, Mario. That's fast. That's poetry in motion! Boom! Ping!"
• "Hey! Brian! What are you doin' here? And what's with the suitcase?"
• "Brian?"
• "Brian?"
• "Brian?"
• "Brian, maybe we should talk a little about this before. Huh?"
• "Yeah! It's true, Brian!"
• "Did not! Did not, ya big ol' poopyhead, you! You big old-"
• "Okay! Who cares?"
• "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! Who cares, Mario?"
• "Oh, yeah! We were miserable."
• "This is the best popcorn! This is the best time! I've got the whole couch to myself, Mario's not here... You're the bestest mama in the whole world! I love this!"
• "Okay! Bye! So long! Thanks for visiting!"
• "Don't sell too much Tupperware!"
• "He was a great kid! Boy, were we miserable when you ran away?"
• "(*with Mario and Brian Bonsall*) Do the Mario!"

Gorilla My Dreams

• "Yo!"
• "Yeah! Here you go, Mario."
• "All the plumbers and plumbettes of Brooklyn are gonna shine tonight!"
• "Oh, geez! That reminds me! I left my gorilla outfit in the truck! I'll be right back."
• "Oh dear. Oh, I'll never get back. I can't believe this. Yo, Mario! C'mon! Tell me the truth! What do you think of the costume, eh?"
• "What are you talkin' crazy for? Now, come on! Tell me the truth! What do you think of the costume?"
• "Oh, thanks a lot. I never said nothin' about your stupid bunny suit."
• "The last time I saw them, Mama was using them for oven mitts."
• "I go through all the trouble to put on a suit that would fool a real gorilla, and what do you get? Oh, great. Big joke, Mario! Look at this! Where'd you get this ugly suit? Oh, sure, sure. Very funny. Very funny. Come on, will ya? Enough is enough! Mario? Mario? Uh oh!"
• "How many times have I gotta tell ya? I'm Luigi! I'm the one that talks!"
• "Lemme at it!"
• "That's not fair!"
• "Lucky, lucky guess!"
• "Ah, he's just jealous because he don't have a date. Listen. I got an idea: After the dance, I figure maybe we can get some espresso, some cannoli...and a little spumoni. Say, you wouldn't happen to know how to tango, do ya? I've been dying to meet a girl that can tango!"
• "Until next time, everybody! (*with Mario*) Do the Mario!"

George Washington Slept Here

• "You scuse me? Large night and gown! I hate to interrupt the concert, but uh... I don't know about turning this place into a...bed and breakfast joint."
• "I don't trust you! But what kind of a meatball is gonna stay in a joint like this?"
• "Sure they will, but I would wanna get rich guys to come here!"
• "Get outta here. Washington, sleep here?"
• "Not a bad idea! Not bad!"
• "Hey! Hey, why don't you have a cherry, general?"
• "Great idea! Ahem! Uh, general, sir? Why don't you go ahead and stretch out on the couch?"
• "Uh, rest! Rest! Rest! Oh, nice to early! Very nice to early!"
• "Oh, sure."
• "I'm getting sleepy."
• "How ya doin'?"
• "Hey, general? What are we doin'?"
• "I'm about to go to slumber! Plus, he won't lie anymore, please!"
• "Yeah! C'mon! Give us two more chances! (unintelligible) I don't swim that good!"
• "I guess... Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Get off me!"
• "You too?"
• "Come in!"
• "Scuse me, but you look very familiar! What is your name, sir?"
• "Sorry! Inn's all full!"
• "Told you to live a lie! You had a dream with him in the water? Ooh! That was cold! Close! He was starting, pointing...swish!"
• "(*with Mario and George Washington*) Do the Mario!"

Caught in a Draft

• "It's not the prestoris! The belt doesn't go into the poltergeist very smoothly!"
• "Never mind! The steam is gonna goin' outta here in a minute!"
• "Hold it! Hold it, Mario! Take it easy! Excuse me uh, Sir Sergeant, sir. No disrespect, but how do we really know that you are here, on a government secret mission?"
• "I don't hear anything!"
• "I believe you, sir."
• "Well, now that you've explained that clearly scary, person."
• "One, two!"
• "Three, four!"
• "One second!"
• "Right, Serg! We'll rest!"
• "He's hollering again."
• "(*with Mario*) Keep your seat, don't get no snack! After seeing some Zelda, we'll be right back!"
• "Sound off!"
• "Top secret government spies Mario and Luigi reporting for duty, sir!"
• "You'll never find out from me that the money's in the sink and the recipe for marinara sauce is in the toilet, and Mario sucked his thumb until he was twenty-one!"
• "Mario, can you keep a secret?"
• "He's gone!"
• "(*with Mario and Sgt. Slaughter*) Do the Mario!"

Defective Gadgetry

• "Alright. This oughta fit perfectly. Yep! By the way, get the door."
• "Yo, Mario! You're expecting somebody?"
• "Yeah, that must be him now!"
• "Are you ready, Dr. Mario?"
• "Okay..."
• "Just in case the patient screams, we shouldn't be upset. Wash."
• "Okay?"
• "For you, doctor."
• "Cleanliness, neatness..."
• "Waste not whatnot!"
• "Here you go, doctor!"
• "Quippin' ready?"
• "Patient thrift!"
• "Okay!"
• "Remember what I told ya: What is the most important thing?"
• "Cleanliness! Clah... Ah... Ah... Ah... Okay... Ah... ACHOO!!! It's okay! (unintelligible)"
• "Scerfyalator!"
• "Permiator!"
• "Stewren! Right!"
• "Break!"
• "(unintelligible) Got it!"
• "Whoa!"
• '"Pipes! Well done! Huh? I feel like Leonardo da Vinci! It's a masterpiece!"
• "What?"
• "What's that?"
• "What? Why I oughta?"
• "Bench check comin' up, Mario! Alright, Inspector! We'll have ya taken care of here, in two shakes of a lamps-tail!"
• "Perfect!"
• "Oh, yes! Yes, sirree, bub! Your RPMs are at 3,000, your oil is clean, you're sure to come back for a left foot alignment in about 3,000 miles."
• "Absolutely!"
• "Oh, I got 'em at that novelty store on uh 30 3rd Street!"
• "Right!"
• "Yo, uh, Mario! You think I should tell him about some of the other changes that uh, we made?"
• "Go, go, Rocket Shoes!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Inspector Gadget*) Do the Mario!"

Toupee

• "What're you doing? Will you forget about it with the eating already? Come on! Inspector Klean from the Board of Sanitation is coming! Now either we clean up this mess, or we lose the building. C'mon-a, Mario!"
• "Only temporary! Take it easy! Shhh!"
• "I got it!"
• "(with Mario) I'll get it!"
• "Inspector Klean, to what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"
• "Sorry!"
• "50 points?"
• "Wh-wh-what tub?"
• "Yes! What tub?"
• "100 points?"
• "Uh...leaky pipes!"
• "Alright! C'mon, boy! Here it is! C'mon, ya big rat! Go on! Fetch, boy! Fetch!"
• "Yo! Mario! I got it! You get Clog off his head, and we make the switch!"
• "Go on!"
• "What?!"
• "Oh, we're gonna be stuck here for awhile, so why don't you watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda? Pull!"
• "Pull harder!"
• "Inspector..."
• "Your head!"
• "Yes, sir! Thanks a lot! Thanks a lot, sir! Enjoy yourself! Enjoy your hair, sir!"
• "See ya! So long!"
• "Whew! That was close!"
• "(*with Mario and Inspector Klean*) Do the Mario!"

The Artist

• "Beautiful."
• "What is it?"
• "Are you kidding me? He said I drew the best Tippy Turtle ever?"
• "And he's comin' over here?"
• "Well, forget about it! I'm not ready! I mean, a real life artist is gonna be right here in our apartment?!"
• "Go wash up! Oh, I better tidy up with a visitor comin'!"
• "Perfect!"
• "The best Tippy Turtle! I mean, I knew it was good, but the best? Woo-wee! Geez!"
• "That's him! That's him! Wow!"
• "Right! Wow! Very nice to meet you, Mr. Van Gook! I-I'm Luigi! Please come into my house! It's a honor- It's an honor to meet you!"
• "Yes, sir!"
• "Close! That's Mario's meat sauce! Mr. Van Gook, can I get you a seat?"
• "Yes sir. A chair!"
• "Oh boy! I can't wait!"
• "Yes, sir!"
• "Okay!"
• "Yes, sir!"
• "Three hours! Yes, sir!"
• "No, no, no! Pure klutz!"
• "He is?"
• "Hey, yo, Vinny! I don't wanna start trouble or nothin', but I WAS the one who drew the best Tippy Turtle you ever saw, right?"
• "Hey, Mario. Who are you kiddin'? You were never artistic!"
• "Yeah? Well, too bad he didn't wake up your hidden brain! Yo, Vinny! I drew this! Tell me the truth! What do you think, eh?"
• "Yeah? Well, who asked you?"
• "Yo, Mario! Wait a minute! This guy ain't Van Gook! This guy's in the paper here! This is a guy posing as Van Gook, and he's been stealin' people's money!"
• ""Yeah... Well, don't worry about it, Mario. I don't like this Van Gook guy anyway! I mean, whatever you told him, went in one ear and stayed there.
• "Yeah. Well, that's alright, brother. See, I learned something."
• "Lesson number four: Art should not only look good, but...it should look good...on you! Yeah, and it should taste good, too!"
• "(*with Mario and Vincent Van Gook*) Do the Mario!"

Zenned Out Mario

• "Yo! Mario! What is this all about?"
• "Tulio? You mean that big bully plumber that eats steel parts for lunch?"
• "Mario, are you crazy? The last boyfriend she had, he turned the guy into a human pretzel!"
• "Mario, this is your lucky day!"
• "Will you relax? Obi-Wan Cannoli is comin' over today! You could ask him for a little bit of advice!"
• "The very same!"
• "Of course he does!"
• "This guy is strict!"
• "Mario? Mario? You okay? Boy, that was some trick! What are you gonna have him do when he comes to? Sheesh! Mario! Mario! Y-You okay? Come on, Mario! Come on, Mario! Ohhh! Come on! Attaboy! You alright? Talk to me! ...He's okay."
• "Yeah, well, I couldn't have said it much better myself, Obi! Hang in there. Would you, Mario? What's the matter with you?"
• "Ruined your stork pose? You ruined our wall!"
• "Here you go, Mario."
• "I don't know about this, Mario."
• "Oh! Obi, what should we do? He's gonna pulverize Mario!"
• "Farewell, Obi!"
• "You make a better-tasting sauce? You tomato!"
• "Mr. Tough Guy, huh? Tulio."
• "(*with Mario and Obi-Wan Cannoli*) Do the Mario!"

Texas Tea

• "Yeah? Well, dream on, Mario. We're broke. I mean, we can barely afford to keep the plumbing business goin' these days."
• "What do you mean me, we, Mr. Rolypoly?"
• "Alright! More tomatoes comin' up, Mario! You got it!"
• "Oh, they look good this year, huh?"
• "Whoa! Mario! Holy macaroni!"
• "Texas tea!"
• "Yeah! We're filthy, alright!"
• "Who are you?"
• "Well, hi, Mr. Bull! Come on in!"
• "Thank you! This is my brother, Mario! Mario, Mr. Bull!"
• "Wow! News travels fast!"
• "Really? What kinda deal?"
• "Wow!"
• "I dunno."
• "Uhhhh, y'know, Mario, maybe we shoulda waited for Mr. Bull to bring over the cheque before we spent all this money, eh?"
• "Ehhhh... Well, I hope you're right."
• "You're right! You're right! You're right, Mario! Things like, eh, vacations in the tropics."
• "How 'bout furniture, we didn't just find?"
• "This is the life."
• "I love this show! Is it on?"
• "Hehehe! Me too, Mario! But I'm gonna be honest with you. I just hope Mr. Bull shows up with the cheque pretty soon because, these bills are starting to add up, eh? ...Ah, the heck with it! Big brother, do me a favor, eh? Give me a glass of that Texas tea, eh? I mean, I just wanna gaze at pure money."
• "Uh oh? What's wrong?"
• "Well?"
• "WELL?!"
• "Whoa! Ho! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait wait whoa whoa-ho! Where you goin' with all this stuff?"
• "Yeah, well..."
• "A mile away! We know. We know."
• "Sure!"
• "Proud's not the word."
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Ted Bull*) Do the Mario!"

The Great Hereafter

• "Mario? Mario, wake up!"
• "No, Mario! Mario! It's me, Luigi! You're daydreamin' about Grandma again!"
• "Well, that is pretty clean, Mario, but then again, Grandma wasn't very much of a looker!"
• "Mario! Take it easy! Take it easy! Y'know, I'm worried about you! I mean, every night, these dreams about Grandma, it's like...she's trying to reach out to you for what caused the Great Famine!"
• "Yes! Newark, where she's buried!"
• "You mean crazy Mr. Schwect in 3A?"
• "No, no. Not 'psycho'! That's 'psychic!' There's a big difference!"
• "Come in!"
• "A king?"
• "That good? I'll take it."
• "Hold it!"
• "Hold it!"
• "Hold it! I got a royal straight flush! Mario take jack, win king, and wins with spades! Ha-ha!"
• "...dead."
• "Oh, yeah. But for other reasons. You know, remember when he was ten? All the kids used to play ring-the-rosie, and it's-"
• "A dump?"
• "Upper Newark?"
• "Whew! Thank goodness!"
• "A hundred bucks?"
• "(*with Mario and the Old Psychic Lady*) Do the Mario!"

The Painting

• "Yo, Mario! I am so glad that we're finally gettin' to our spring cleaning here, eh?"
• "You're right! I'm starved, too! Yo! What's that?"
• "Boy. Thank you. Yo! Mario! This could maybe be worth something! We-We oughta be appraised by an expert!"
• "Well, of course he'll know. I called the best art expert around, Howard Stevens of Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown!"
• "Yes, we are!"
• "Why are we yelling?"
• "Well, what do you think?"
• "You're puttin' us on!"
• "Yeah! We'll be able to afford anything!"
• "Are you kidding, Mario? I want a vacation in the Bronx! I want to ride in a rented car! I want to buy Mama a fake fur coat! How about you, Mario?"
• "What's the matter?"
• "Alright! Okay! Give or take a zillion! We're still rich, huh?"
• "Right! Who painted it?"
• "Okay! Exactly, how much was our painting worth?"
• "That much, huh...?"
• "(*with Mario*) We'll take it!"
• "Who you talking to?"
• "(*with Mario and Howard Stevens*) Do the Mario!"

Game Show Host

• "You're not kiddin'! Whew! Okay. Money for Morons is over. Luigi... I'm freezin' in here. We better get some coal in the furnace before the tenants start complainin'!"
• "C'mon, brother! Back to work! Brrr! Before you know it, Mrs. Gambler's gonna be hittin' the pipes...we're gonna have more aggravation, and I'm freezin' too."
• "C'mon! Let's go! Get that coal in there! Bada-bing, badda-bang, badda-boom!"
• "Alright! I like your style, I'm gonna take it... Here we go!"
• "Achoo!"
• "Whoa!"
• "Of course I am, and welcome to the show!"
• "Why, sir, you must be our first contestant and what is your name, please?"
• "Alright sir, alright sir! Which will it be? Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3?"
• "Aww, I'm sorry, sir! That's not the correct answer, but don't worry! Because we'll have another chance at it, as soon as we return right after these messages! Don't go away! Please sir, don't cry! Don't cry! I hate it when a grown man cries..."
• "Well, thanks for watching, friends and tune in next time when our super double whammy jackpot will total one hundred zillion dollars, and eighty cents! Until then, see ya next time!"
• "Please, please, please! I must remind all contestants not to shout out their answers, ya must ring your bell in order to be recognized!"
• "BZZZZT! I'm sorry sir, but your time has run out, but we don't want you to go away empty-handed! We've got some lovely parting gifts for ya! Tell them about it, Johnny!"
• "I'm sorry, sir, but that's not the right answer! However, you do win the first two hours in February, all meals included!"
• "*buzzer sound* I'm afraid that is incorrect, Jim. I am not a plumber from Brooklyn. That'll cost you five minutes."
• "I can name that tune in five notes! Well, I can name that tune in four notes! Oh, yeah? Well, I can name that tune in three notes! Haha!"
• "Are you ready with your answer, sir?"
• "I do believe you're right, and I can't allow that to happen! I'll get the furnace. Would you hold that for me, sir? Thank you!"
• "I smell pizza!"
• "I got smacked by Jim Lange!"
• "Hi!"
• "Are you kidding? This is my dream!"
• "Yes, sir!"
• "I'm sorry, but that's not the right answer! However, all..."
• "(*with Mario and Jim Lange*) Do the Mario!"

Home Radio

• "Yes! Come on!"
• "(*with Mario*) Yyyyyyyyes!"
• "Yeah! You're right!"
• "Same, my bountiful pal! Ready? So I say... This is Luigi Mario, coming to you live from Brooklyn!"
• "Not bad! Not bad! Not bad! Give it a shot! Give it a shot! No wait. Hold it."
• "And now, the number one song..."
• "Sorry, friends. That was Teeny Gladys and the Peppers... I mean, Gladys Peppers and the Tinas... I mean, I don't care. Phew! Mario. I gotta take a break...from all this practicing. My throat is starting to get sore."
• "You know what? That's a great idea. Let's listen to the professional, huh?"
• "Mario?! Tomorrow at 9 AM?! We got no throat left!"
• "We're just getting some rest before Wacky Willy shows up. Why don't you take a look at these exciting scenes from the next Legend of Zelda? ...Mario?"
• "Yeah, thanks. It's real nice to have you in our home."
• "Yeah! We wanted to make a good impression on you, so we stayed up all night practicing our radio voices."
• "(*with Mario and Willy White*) Do the Mario!"

Glasnuts

• "Mario Brothers Plumbing! Yyyyou clog 'em, we clear 'em! What? The president, of the United States? Could you hold on just a minute, sir? Thank you."
• "Mario? Mario? C'mere! C'mere! There's a guy on the phone says, "Are you ready for this?" He's president of the United States."
• "Let's enjoy this! Well, well...hello? Yes! What is that, sir? Premier Gobrachav, is coming to the United States, and wants to meet us, the Mario Bros., right?"
• "Wha? Mr. Pre- *ahem* Mr. President! Yes, sir! Well, thank you very much for calling! Yes! I-I'll make sure to give your regards to Gorbi! Right! Thank you very much!"
• "C'mon! You know who that probably was? Rali! Rali's always doin' this stuff to us! You remember the last time? Get the phone. Oh, that guy! He had us running everywhere! 'Premier Gobrachev! Yeah, okay, fine. Sure!'"
• "Like a pizza, you can divide the world up into many many pieces, eh?"
• "We-we-we'll be right back!"
• "Shhh! I know that! You know that! But, Mario, he's gonna hate this pizza, he's gonna get mad, and we're all in a lot of trouble!"
• "Well, I am too, Mario. I can see it all now: 'Mario Brothers Cause International Trouble; Bad Pizza to Blame'."
• "Yes! Coming right up! Premier Gobrachev! Premier Gobrachev! You know, I was thinkin'... You don't wanna taste this pizza."
• "What?"
• "Is not good..."
• "'Is not good!"
• "Not a bad idea!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Mikhail S. Gobrachev*) Do the Mario!"

Treasure of the Sierra Brooklyn

Note that most of the dialogue listed here has been translated from the German dub of the episode.

• "Mario!"
• "Can you hurry it up? With your plumbing, you're making so much noise that I can't understand what the reporter is saying."
• "Hang on! Our apartment has a buried treasure in it?"
• "So, what does this say?"
• "Hang on, it says: Turn around with your back facing north and walk three steps forward. One... Two... Three!"
• "Turn towards Brooklyn Bridge and walk three steps."
• "Turn to the nearest emergency exit and walk three more steps."
• "(*with Mario*) One... Two... Three... ahhh!"
• "Maybe so, but just in case, we oughta show this map to Inspector Gadget!"
• "Let's go! Call him up! Where's the number? Where's the hat? Call him up! Let's go!"
• "Alright! 5... Yes! Yes! Yes! Good!"
• "What's the big idea, Mario?"
• "Oh, hello, Inspector Gadget! This is Luigi Mario, one of the Mario Plumber Brothers. Listen, we have a strong suspicion that a treasure is buried here!"
• "Right, we'll wait. He's on his way. It's open!"
• "Did you see that...?"
• "Uh, can I help you, Inspector?"
• "So what? We could have torn down that wall without Inspector Gadget."
• "Okay, here it says... 'Walk three steps southward.' That's there."
• "Heyyy... Hey! Something is down there! I'll bet it's the treasure! You know what? I'm gonna go down there and take a look! Careful! This is no problem for a Luigi like me! I'll be right back!"
• "I am careful...and how!"
• "Yes, indeed...it is a treasure! We're rich!"
• "What?"
• "What?! What's this then?"
• "Uh oh!"
• "Electricaaaan!"

Adee Don't

• "Yo, Mario. I am so nervous about doing our first live TV commercial!"
• "Only gonna be seen in Brooklyn, ah? C'mon! You ever hear Brooklynites laugh? They're big laughters! This could be very, very embarrassing, Mario!"
• "Are you kiddin' me? How do you get a big star like Tawny Tyler to come over and help two meatballs like us, especially after what we've done to her?"
• "Come in!"
• "Ooh, what a pro! Every move's a picture! Eh? Look at that!"
• "Oh. Well, eh...Should I, I guess housecleaning must be a breeze, huh?"
• "♪ We're very fast and very cheap (with Mario) cause we're the Mario Bro-thers! ♪"
• "Alright! Let's do it! I'm ready!"
• "...Mario?"
• "Yeah. See, what do you usually do when this sort of thing happens?"
• "Oh."
• "Well, why don't we try that? I mean...aaanything's better than this, ah?"
• "And now, ladies and gentlemen. The beautiful Tawny Tyler makes her way toward our splendid couch, made of original rich Corinthian imitation Ratagator leather! And of course, our ever-popular twelve dead artificial American roses, in a green vase!"
• "Ladies and gentlemen, let us not forget our one-of-a-kind original ceramic pussycat, without a tail, which also of course also doubles as, a pinky ring!"
• "Oh, our biggest turquoise bowl pith helmet combination! Yes! Yes! Yes! And now, our lovely Mario, will step this way and spin the big wheel! And who knows? Good fortune may, come your way!"
• "Mario?"
• "Ah, gee! What are we gonna do, Tawny? Look at him! He's a total zombie!"
• "Good!"
• "Huh?"
• "One second. It's no use! It's no use! I can't go on, without my brother Mario! That's it! I'm finished! It's all over! It's no good!"
• "Right."
• "Okay."
• "♪ For super clogs and toilet blogs, don't call your dog or motheeeeer! ♪"
• "(with Tawny Tyler) ♪ Yes, we're very fast and very cheap cause we're the Mario Bro-o-thers! ♪"
• "(*with Mario and Tawny Tyler*) Do the Mario!"

Chippie Chipmunks

• "There's a chipmunk in the house!"
• "Boy, you're sure in a good mood, Mario! Although I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know why you're so excited about that silly Chippie Chipmunk group, and would you go answer the door, please?"
• "Hi there, Mr. Gibbel! Pleasure to meet you and uh, what brings you to our humble home?"
• "What does Mario have to do to earn the extra five points?"
• "Chippy Acts of Goodness?"
• "Bye, Mr. Gibbel! Who-hoa! Hey, Mario! I mean, if being a member of the Chippie Chipmunks, means you have to be nice to me for a whole day. Maybe it's not such a silly group after all. Come on!"
• "♪ I love the Chip-munks, the Chip-munks, the Chip-munks! ♪"
• "You know, Mario, there is one more Act of Goodness that you could get in before lunch. How about a foot massage?"
• "Mario, I don't think you're my personal servant. I think you are a Chipmunk, who wants to be Munk of the Month! I think you are a Chipmunk, who wants a Secret Decoder Ring! I know you are a Chipmunk, who has to do Acts of Goodness, for the entire day. Right? Right. Hit the feet."
• "Oh! Oh, is this good! Oh!"
• "Hey, as long as I am getting a trim, why don't we take a look at these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda? Would you take a little off the sides here, Chippie?"
• "Mario has been working so hard, Mr. Gibbel! Workin' really hard!"
• "Oh yeah. Mario's been fulfilling as many Acts of Goodness as he could possibly do, Mr. Gibbel."
• "I mean, you did all these Acts of Goodness, for an award you already won!"
• "Oho! My foot massage was the best Act of Goodness!"
• "What?"
• "No kidding, what is it?"
• "(*with Mario and Mr. Gibbel*) Do the Mario!"

A Basement Divided

• "Scuse me. I hate to interrupt your eating. Would you mind explaining this to me, please?"
• "Very funny. Real cute. Can I ask why it's not in the trash?"
• "Oh, really? You were gonna get it, huh? Like that, and that, and that, and this, and especially that over there?"
• "What's the matter? You wanna know what's the matter? I am living with a slob, and I've had it up to here, and I'm gonna do somethin' about it right now! That's what's the matter! Eh? What's the matter, eh? I'll give ya what's the matter!"
• "What's goin' on here? You see this? ...DO YOU SEE THIS?!"
• "Okay! Well, this side of the black line...is for human beings who clean up after themselves! You see that side?"
• "Get over there! That side is for uncivilized slobs, who like living in a dumpster for furniture! Have fun!"
• "Come in!"
• "Ah! Why is this guy here?"
• "Check."
• "I believe since birth."
• "Thanks, doc!"
• "Well... Enjoy your stay in Slob City, buddy boy!"
• "Will all you neat people please watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda?"
• "Boy, am I hungry?"
• "See? I knew you couldn't last! Alright! For starters, you can take the Clean Bee Pledge of Aliegance."
• "Alright! It's okay with me!"
• "Repeat after me!"
• "I, Mario, do solemnly swear..."
• "To never leave garbage lying around..."
• "That practically makes other people barf."
• "And to not be a humongous disgustoid."
• "And instead..."
• "Be, a Clean Bee."
• "Okay! Now, listen. You're welcome, to your non-disgusting life, alright?"
• "Now, don't forget you promised!"
• "Now go ahead and eat. You must be hungry, eh?"
• "Go ahead!"
• "Ehhh-eh-eh! Did you not promise? Napkin... Napkin... Napkin!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Mario and Doc Freud*) Do the Mario!"

No Way to Treat a Queenie

• "I say, afternoon, your majesty! Would you care for a spot of tea? Perhaps a whole cup of tea? Whoo, Cheerio, Pip-pip, and all of that rot carry on, tally-ho, to the hounds, to the hounds, look up, back up, yes-"
• "Mario, I-I-I didn't go cuckoo. I'm just uh, practicing, y'know, in case I happen to see the Queen of England while she's here in New York. I seen it on TV today!"
• "Why not?"
• "You mean I gotta make a funny face like that when I bow?"
• "Oooh! Gee, Mario! Lemme help ya!"
• "You alright?"
• "Mario, I'll tell you the truth. I really wish I could meet the Queen!"
• "Yeaah... I say, ol' chap. That's quite a bummer, isn't it?"
• "Quite."
• "They don't make 'em the same way anymore."
• "It would be an honor!"
• "Well, I-I understand that, your highness, but...what do you mean by 'we?'"
• "Your majesty, if there is anything that we can do, please just...name it."
• "(*with Mario*) Your majesty! Yo!"
• "Ohohoh, great! What is lunch, Queenie?"
• "Well, no wonder ya mopped the floor, you washed and ironed our clothing, and you re-shingled the roof!"
• "Yes, ma'am!"
• "What an honor!"
• "Oh, no, no! Not at all! Not at all!"
• "G'bye, Queen! G'bye!"
• "You got it, Sir Mario!"
• "Have a piece!"
• "Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Pizza Crush

• "Yo, Mario! Who was that?"
• "Cut what out?"
• "Will you stop it? I don't know what you're talkin' about. I didn't order any pizza for you."
• "No, I didn't."
• "Yo, Mario. Couldn't you see that someone is playing a practical joke on us? Huh? I mean, sending us over tons of pizzas that we don't want!"
• "Will you stop it with the eating already? Mario, what's the matter with you? What happens when the bill comes in in the pizzeria? Huh? Do you realize that we cut all our fortune here? Are you listenin' to me? I don't want you to take one more pizza from that girl! Capiche?"
• "Yeeeaaah, exactly."
• "Mario, my darling!"
• "...understand that I'm your mother, I'm...talkin' to you, talkin' to you, slight talkin' for one more, and, so yeah, you keep goin', you don't care about nothin', ah, it's amazing to me! You okay in there?"
• "Alright. Alright. C'mon. Watch how you walk and be careful, ah? And hurry up! You got a lot."
• "I can handle this. How many times I gotta tell ya neatness counts?"
• "An accident? It's always an accident. I love you. You are my brother, but a- yeah. Like how you want. I tell ya twice. It's like...you know less and why is that?"
• "What? She thinks you're cute? I think you're cute, too! What's hard to believe, is who's gonna pay for this pizza she keeps delivering, eh? What are you gonna do about that, Mr. Cutesy-Wootesy-Pootsey-Tootsey?"
• "You got a plan? What kinda plan?"
• "I'm watching. I'm watching."
• "Yeah, 400 pounds of cute. Look, miss, I have a question. Who's gonna pay for all these pizzas?"
• "Free?"
• "Yeah..."
• "Bye! Bye!"
• "Forget about the peppermint pizza! Find out if she's got a sister that delivers!"
• "That's some cutie girl!"
• "(*with Mario*) Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Goodbye Mr. Fish

• "Yeah, sure! Don't let nothing disturb your eating! Heaven forbid! Sheesh... What a guy. What a guy."
• "Mrs. Periwinkle, hi! Come on in my house!"
• "Awww, gee Mrs. Periwinkle, ehhhhh...I'd love to, but what do I know about fish? Come on, come on, come on! Watch your step. You know-you know, Mrs. Periwinkle, I got an idea! I mean, if you love Kenneth so much, why don't you just take him with you?"
• "No, I didn't know that!"
• "Why did you say you'd be a fishsitter?"
• "Oh, really? Well, lemme ask you soemthing. If she said she wanted you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do that too?"
• "Oh, never mind."
• "Oh, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! What are you, crazy? You're gonna feed a fish a meatball?"
• "Maybe it's an Italian fish."
• "Forget about Mrs. Periwinkle! What am I gonna do about you?"
• "Hey! Just tell her you warned him not to float on his back."
• "Hey, Mario! I got an idea! What if maybe we can find a sort of a stand-in fish, huh?"
• "It's not even human!"
• "Yo, I dunno what we're gonna do, Mario!"
• "Get outta here, Ratagator!"
• "Oh, that's a terrible idea! Here's a good idea! Let's watch some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda! ...It is good!"
• "Uhhh, gee, uhhhh... Yeah, I'm sorry, Mrs. Periwinkle, but he's not here!"
• "Uh... Uh... I got it! He swam away from home! That's what he did! He just swam away!"
• "Right! Yeah, okay, I'm...I'm-I'm lying, Mrs. Periwinkle. You got me. You see, what really happened is uh, Mario was giving K-Kenneth his lunch and uh... Oh, the heck with it! Come on out, Mario and tell Mrs. Periwinkle what happened to Kenneth! Geez..."
• "Whoa, whoa! Mrs. Periwinkle! You need to see our new fishsitting rates! They're very reasonable! I mean it's $1.50 for a guppy, $4.00 for a yellowtail, $6.00 for a tuna..."
• "(*with Mario*) Do the Mario!"

French

• "Scuse me! 'Bonjour, Madamoiselle! Vous etes tres gentiles.'"
• "'Bonjour, Madamoiselle! Vous...etes tres...gentiles.' Ohohohoho! Merci!"
• "I'm not talkin'...goofy, sacrebleu!"
• "Oh, really? Well, for your information, Monsieur Rolypoly, I happen to know, that women love men who speak French. It's very...romantic!"
• "Yeah. Well, I'm gonna show you. Alright?"
• "And pretty soon, you are gonna be eating those words, in a rich...French...sauce! Now buzz off, huh? Monsieur! 'Bonjour, Madamoiselle!'"
• "'Tu adore pizza? Il adore pizza, nous adorons pizza, vous adornez pizza, ills adoron pizza!"
• "Yo, Mario. I've gotta practice my verb conjugation if you don't mind? I mean, how am I gonna impress the ladies if I can't talk in French about pizza?"
• "'It'll never work.' What am I gonna do with you, Mario? Don't you know that French is the language of love? Didn't they teach you that in school?"
• "Oh, really? Well, that does it, Mario! You are what we call in French, le grande peasant! Eh? I'm goin' out to the park where I can practice French without being bothered, especially by some le grande fatso like you!"
• "(in a French accent) Well, very well if you insist...Madame. Bonjour, Madamoiselle."
• "(in a French accent) Well, thank you very much, merci, merci, my sweet!"
• "(in a French accent) Well, of course, my little French fou fou. Excuse me. I'll see you, later, my vache espagnole!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi's girlfriend*) Do the Mario!"

Two Bums From Brooklyn

• "Wait a minute! Lemme think! Lemme think! It's coming to me! Tommy Lasagna, the great baseball coach."
• "Well Mario, from the minute you said, 'Yes sir, Mr. Lasagna!'...it popped right into my mind. Hehehehehe! 'How does he always know?'"
• "Wha are you doin' with my meatballs?"
• "Yeah?"
• "Oh, yeah? Oh. This I gotta see."
• "Yeah?"
• "I am."
• "Alright?"
• "Okay!"
• "Okay! Alright! Pitches, are a dime a dozen. Now, it's obvious to me that Mr. Lasagna is comin' over to scout me, the pride of Flatbush. So uh, stand back...watch MY smoke!"
• "Here we go, pal! There's a hush over the crowd, bottom of the ninth, two men out, Crazy Legs Luigi is at the plate! He steps...he waits...he steps into the fastball...POW! Over the fence! The crowd's goin' crazy! He takes it off for first base, rounds it like a pro, heads for second base! The crowd is goin' nuts, and heads for home! The crowd is goin' nuts! Yaaaaaaay!"
• "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I hit that over the fence!"
• "Come in!"
• "Lucky shot!"
• "Yeah! You better believe it! So come on, coach! Which one of us guys makes the team?"
• "You wanna see our stuff?"
• "You got it, coach! Hang on to the ball! C'mon!"
• "Okay!"
• "Alright! C'mon, Mario! Chuck it in! I'll be waitin' for it! Give us the best one! Come on, come on!"
• "I like that!"
• "Well, am I safe or am I out?"
• "Gee, coach! I'm sorry! Come on! You alright?"
• "Our meatballs?"
• "Wait a minute! You mean you're at the bottom of the league?"
• "Yo, get some peanuts! Get your peanuts! Oh, you're worried about the spitball, your fastball!"
• "Warmup."
• "(*with Mario*) Till next time, everybody! (Tommy Lasagna joins in) Do the Mario!"

Opera

• "What was that?"
• "I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do, Mario. We're gonna pray for intermission."
• "I know. I know. It's tough, but I got it. I got it. Here we go."
• "No. I don't think so, but I got it. Hang on! I got it! I got it!"
• "How do you like that? A fish! It's amazing what some people will throw in the toilet, and they can't figure out why it don't work."
• "How do you like that, Mario? Even the Ratagator is upset."
• "Yo, Mario. Do me a favor, huh? Next time you go to the store, stock up on paper cups, huh? Geez, what a mess. Look at this! I'm gonna kill that lady. Geez..."
• "Why don't we try and hold things together down here? Why don't we watch these scenes for the next Legend of Zelda? Whoa!"
• "Yeah. You think Australia is far enough?"
• "♪ Mimimimimimimimimiiiiiiiii! ♪"
• "♪ We'll stop if you stop, Mrs. Gaaaaammliiiiiss! ♪"
• "(with Mario) Bravo, maestro!"
• "Yo, Mario! Now, that's what I call opera! (with Mario) Yo!"
• "Ohhhh boy! That's terrific!"
• "(with Mario) Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Cyrano de Mario

• "Are you kiddin' me? Bills...bills...more bills...junk mail...cheque for 10 million from Ed McMahon... Oh! This is for you. Smells good!"
• "Hey, hey, hey! Not fair! Read it out loud."
• "Hold it! This is a mistake. Definitely not for you. Must be another Mario Mario someplace."
• "Okay."
• "Tuesday? Mario, that's today!"
• "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Calm down! Calm down! What are you talkin' about? What was this promise you made to this Roxanne?"
• "Mario?! Sorry. You alright?"
• "Mario, you're such a handsome devil. Do you have something to tell me?"
• "Oh, Mario! What is the matter with you? You cannot tell your future wife that she looks like meatballs!"
• "Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Calm down. Don't worry. Look. You don't have to marry her!"
• "Wait a minute! Maybe I can! Mario! C'mere! I got a plan."
• "If anyone objects to Mario's marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace!"
• "*whistle* 'What a babe!'"
• "Not that, stupid!"
• "What I wanted to say..."
• "...was that I thought a bunch about you all these years."
• "Your lips are like two scoops of spumoni."
• "With lipstick on it."
• "With lipstick on it!"
• "No way!"
• "Thanks!"
• "I know she knew all the time, Mario! Only an intelligent woman would turn you down."
• "Pshh! Mario, that's why I love you!"
• "(with Mario) Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Rowdy Roddy's Rotten Pipes

• "Oh no... Oh no! What am I gonna do? Rowdy Roddy Piper, that mean and huge wrestler, is gonna be here any minute! Could you gimme a little hand here, Mario?"
• "Look. Rowdy Roddy Piper, tha-tha-tha-tha-that mean wrestler? He-he-he-he left his bagpipes here for me to fix and I-I can't find 'em anywhere!"
• "Yeah, I know that! And you know that! But I wasn't gonna tell Rowdy Roddy Piper that! What am I gonna do?"
• "Alright. Yo, Mario. Where'd we get this vacuum cleaner? Sure looks familiar."
• "Oh."
• "Uh oh!"
• "No sir, big angry person! This... This...is an imported Scottish vacuum, that comes directly from the McBronx Vacuum Company, one-of-a-kind, and original!"
• "Yes, sir. McBronx."
• "Yes, sir!"
• "Mario? Somethin' tells me...we blew it!"
• "We've gotta buy some time. Mario! Go put some bagpipe music on!"
• "You think he's angry?"
• "Kidding! Kidding! Kidding!"
• "Alright! I'm finished! I'm finished! Look at this!"
• "Oh, don't worry about that! Watch this! Hang on..."
• "Excuse me! Does this mean we're happy?"
• "Oh, am I happy?"
• "(*with Mario*) Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"

Santa Claus is Coming to Flatbush

• "Oh, boy! I better hurry up and finish these boots before Mario... Before he gets home and notices I'm barefoot! Gah, I wish I could afford a better present. Business has been real bad! We're doin' the best we can."
• "Oh boy, and I'm hungry, but...don't come in yet, Mario! I'm not done wrapping your present! Wait a minute! Not yet! Not yet! Okaaaay! Come iiiiin!"
• "Ah, don't worry about anything, Mario. Hurry up, I'm hungry. What did you get for our Christmas feast?"
• "Oh, boy! I can hardly wait!"
• "Yeah, you're right. Tell ya what. I'm gonna throw it over there and put 'em in the steam shoot. It'll add a little body and flavor."
• "Okay! Wait a minute!"
• "Okay! I won't look. Go ahead."
• "Aaaaah, you shouldn'ta, Mario!"
• "Can I look yet?"
• "Hey. Don't worry, big brother. At least things can't get no worse, eh?"
• "Brrrr! Wow, is it cold out there? Hey, Nick! I looked all over the neighborhood for your things. I couldn't find nothin'! You know how it is! Sheesh!"
• "What? Ooh! Oh, forget about it, Mario! Somethin' was wrong, I brought 'em into the shoemaker. Don't even think about it. Boy! Am I hungry? Is my bean done yet?"
• "Oh! Ho! Oh, well, hey! No time like the present to start my uh...New Year's diet!"
• "Oh, that's alright, Nick!"
• "Christmas?!"
• "(with Mario) Presents!"
• "Oh! Yeah... Well, uh... we already opened ours."
• "Here ya go, Nick! Merry Christmas!"
• "Oh, that's great!"
• "Yo! Mario? Let's go to sleep! Santa ain't gonna stop here!"
• "Mario! Mario, come here! You're not gonna believe this! Whoa, go figure this out! Look at this!"
• "S.C.? I thought his name was Nick?"
• "Mario! Do you think it could've been?!"
• "(with Mario) Naaahhhh!"
• "Merry Christmas, Mario!"
• "Come here, my brother!" *Mario and Luigi hug each other and Luigi gives Mario a kiss on both cheeks*
• "(*with Mario and Santa Claus*) Do the Mario!"

Captain Lou is Missing

• "Yo! Yo! Mario! Take it easy. I mean, I know Captain Lou Albano was your hero or role model, but don't worry! I'm sure he'll turn up."
• "Well, Cyndi, that was the last of the Lou search teams. I wonder where the Captain could be?"
• "Well?"
• "(with Mario and the Lou search volunteers) Well?"
• "(with Mario and the Lou search volunteers) Well?"
• "Everyone in the world gave it their best shot tryin' to find Captain Lou. Especially you, Cyndi."
• "Yo, yo, Mario! Forget about it! He's gonna turn up! ...I hope."
• "Gee. Maybe Mario will get lucky and see Captain Lou while he's out."
• "Come in!"
• "Hi, Captain!"
• "Okay! Great to meetcha! Boy! My brother's gonna kick himself when he gets back. Believe me! He's your biggest fan!"
• "Awww, thanks, Cyndi!"
• "Bye, Cyndi!"
• "Well...everything worked out perfect! Ohohohoho! Poor Mario! Again, he's not gonna believe that he missed meeting Captain Lou!"
• "(with Mario) Do the Mario!"

The Ghoul of my Dreams

• "Mario!"
• "Geez! Will you turn that scary movie so I can go to bed?"
• "Can't you see it's after midnight?"
• "Will you try watching it quietly? Pipe down. I'm tryin' to sleep."
• "Goodnight, Mario."
• "Nice to meetcha."
• "Exactly!"
• "Mario!"
• "What're you babbling about? She's on TV!"
• "Exactly! Now, would you do me a favor and go to bed? Good night! Geez..."
• "(*with Mario*) Till next time, everybody! Do the Mario!"