Monologue Toad

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“And what of me? What will be the fate of this humble Toad?”

—Monologue Toad, Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam

The Monologue Toad is a character in Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam. He is a green Toad with a tendency to over-explain certain events. Notably, he is the one to inform the trio of Princess Peach being taken to Mount Brrr. He is later captured by Paper Petey Piranha, requiring another explanation.

History

This Toad is met in the foyer of Peach's Castle, appearing after the castle has been bombarded. Once Mario, Luigi, and Paper Mario have entered, a red Toad panics over what is to be done, asking them for suggestions. Monologue Toad, standing next to him, snaps him out of it. He tells the trio his friend is too distraught to speak for himself and proceeds to explain for him. Notably, he tells them to listen carefully to his following text and not to skim through it, alluding to the fast-forward button.

With this matter clarified, the Toad proceeds to give his story. According to him, he was on Mount Brrr and noticed Bowser Jr. and Paper Bowser Jr. taking both Princess Peach and Paper Peach with them. To summarize, he tells the trio Mount Brrr would be their next destination. Right after this, a cutscene plays to determine this. Once the cutscene has played, the Toad reiterates the move and his disbelief to Bowser having a villa.

Suddenly, he collapses on the nearby floor, envisioning the princesses in great distraught and disbelief, with both Bowser Jrs. acting ungrateful. He claims this to be a fate worse than death and vows that Bowser will be stopped. Only after he states this does he realize he slowly strayed from the others during his extensive monologue, all of whom have left. With Toadette and the gang now in front of the castle, the Monologue Toad can be heard moaning at a nearby window. As they are discussing their plans to get to Mount Brrr, the Toad suddenly dashes out of the castle, vowing to find the princesses, or at least his princess, himself.

Unexpectedly, this Toad is encountered again shortly on. He is seen narrowly running from Paper Petey Piranha in front of the path leading to the mountain. After he ends up in his grip, the Toad decides to explain the predicament once more. This time, he directly tells them not to fast forward through his text, with a message on the screen serving as a reminder. He then proceeds to go on a soap box rant. He begins by telling them they had battled a different Petey Piranha. He seems to stray from this topic, citing the arrival of the paper characters and eventually listing some of the trio's best features. He ponders whether they will be able to save the Mushroom Kingdom. As he is wondering his own fate, Paper Petey Piranha tosses him out of sight. He is presumably never seen or mentioned again after this.

Quotes

• "Get a grip on yourself!"
• "My friend here is too distraught to speak clearly, so let me explain the situation."
• "Please listen carefully. None of this fast-forwarding business, OK?"
• "There I was, taking my daily constitutional up Mount Brrr..."
• "When suddenly, who should appear but Bowser Jr. and Paper Bowser Jr.!"
• "With both princesses in tow!"
• "Which means that the princesses aren't at Bowser's Castle anymore..."
• "They're at Mount Brrr!"
• "That's right. They're now at Bowser's Villa way up at the top of Mount Brrr!"
• "Can you believe that creep has a villa?!"
• "Bowser's treachery is even greater than we previously imagined."
• "I can just picture the sorry scene now."
• "The two princesses, distraught with fear... Shivering in the cold..."
• "Their frozen tears like ice drops on their faces..."
• "While the bratty Bowser Jrs. whine endlessly about feeling bored..."
• "A fate worse than death!"
• "This cannot stand!"
• "That hateful Bowser!"
• "The only ones who can save the princesses now are..."
• "Hey, where'd you guys go?"
• "You must hurry!"
• "The fate of the worlds is resting on your shoulders!"
• "And of course, the fate of our dear, sweet princesses!"
• "Fear not, beloved princess!"
• "This Toad will never abandon you!"
• "HAAAAAAAALP!"
• "I'll try to explain this fast so you can get to the saving-me part!"
• "I'm as anxious as you are to move on, but please don't press to fast-forward!"
• "OK, let me cut to the chase. You did indeed defeat Petey Piranha!"
• "However, this here is the PAPER version of Petey Piranha! Whole different situation."
• "The whole paper enemy situation has got out of control lately!"
• "Paper enemies raining down from the sky... Toads weak and trembling from trepidation..."
• "Is the picture I'm painting grim enough for you? The Mushroom Kingdom faces its greatest crisis yet!"
• "Facing this crisis are the two Marios."
• "In their hands, they wield only the weapon known as courage."
• "Well, that and hammers."
• "Next to them stands Luigi, flames of determination burning quietly behind those eyes of his."
• "Those, er, blank eyes of his."
• "But I digress! Can these three heroes deliver the Mushroom Kingdom from certain doom?"
• "And what of me? What will be the fate of this humble Toad?"